a short break in adolescence

I’ve been feel­ing like an adult.

This isn’t due to my fis­cal respon­si­bil­i­ties or my tidy home or any oth­er things I used to use as a mea­sure for matu­ri­ty, but from feel­ing like every­thing makes sense. Like I have all the answers the way adults seem to do, because I can see the big pic­ture, I under­stand what tru­ly mat­ters, and I don’t sweat the small things any­more.

It’s only now that I’m at a point where I feel like a grown up. Like this is final­ly who I’ll be for the rest of my life.

That’s not to say I’ve fin­ished grow­ing, that I’m not human or infal­li­ble, but there aren’t the same strug­gles or changes that I used to have, so my emo­tions and atti­tudes have evened out.

For a while I won­dered if I’d just become anoth­er turn­ing-30 cliché, but I real­ized it was nev­er about age. Various things have brought me to this matu­ri­ty, from con­ver­sa­tions to rela­tion­ships to trips far away. It all hap­pened to be around the begin­ning of a new decade in my life.

Maybe I’ve been feel­ing this way only because things are going so well. It’ll take some hard­ship to test how far I’ve tru­ly come as an adult, but until then I’ll try to live like a child, cause too often youth is wast­ed on the young.


  1. I think adults don’t have all the answers, they just know there’re no absolute answers. They realise that a per­son­’s virtues and strengths are often also his or her vices and weak­nessess. So adults should be less fas­tid­i­ous and more relaxed.

    If you don’t feel uptight about speak­ing French or Cantonese with a for­eign accent, that’s a good sign. Foreign accents can be charm­ing. If you’re O.K. with being served with eggs that are not a mul­ti­ple of 2, that’s a good sign. All in all, being seri­ous­ly unse­ri­ous, or vice ver­sa, is a good sign. Well, that’s my take of it.

    • I did­n’t quite mean that adults lit­er­al­ly have all the answers, only that they seem to know every­thing and be invul­ner­a­ble when we’re young and look­ing up to them. That’s the posi­tion I find myself in late­ly, where I’m look­ing towards this new found strength and matu­ri­ty as the child I used to be.

  2. I believe you’ve faced your hard­est chal­lenge and it’s behind you.
    You will be a tougher, smarter man, and I believe you’ll do well for your­self.
    Now: Don’t for­get to PLAY!~

    • It’s fun­ny, I nev­er real­ly thought of any­thing as being the most dif­fi­cult chal­lenge, but when I con­sid­er the time and heartache, I can’t help but agree.

  3. feel­ing like every­thing makes sense. Like I have all the answers the way adults seem to do, because I can see the big pic­ture, I under­stand what tru­ly mat­ters, and I don’t sweat the small things any­more

    I think I’m actu­al­ly cry­ing because I’ve nev­er heard it so plain­ly described, and so defin­i­tive­ly plain for me to see that it’s a place I have yet to come to, and one that feels so out of reach. I’m 29. I’ll be 30 in 6‑ish months… we’re not that far apart in age. Why does it feel like often sense is as far from my reach as China or win­ning 20million?

    I firm­ly believe youth is wast­ed on the young, because they nev­er real­ly do real­ize what they have when they have it, and squan­der some of the most won­drous times of their lives try­ing to be old­er, act old­er, act wis­er, talk smarter, look more mature than they ever are, to real­ly find the most mag­ic in that age… I like your per­spec­tive. But I also envy the fact that you feel like you’ve fig­ured it out. Maybe it’ll be the same for me in my 30s…

    Age may not have come into play with your life, but large­ly on the whole, age has a lot to do with it for the gen­er­al pop­u­lace. The major­i­ty of 21 year olds are com­plete and utter idiots. I’m sure the same could be said of many 41 year olds, but I would­n’t cred­it the entire demo­graph­ic as being retard­ed in the same way teens or young adults are.


    I’m very hap­py for you, Jeff.

    PS. I saw the Tea tray things I sent you for Christmas that one year at my favorite upscale mar­ket, and it total­ly made me think of you.


    • I don’t think you’re far away in terms of matu­ri­ty. It takes a lot of wis­dom to come to the real­iza­tions you have. Perhaps you just need a lit­tle push, the right inspi­ra­tion, the prop­er epiphany to cross that line (if such a line can ever be defined). As you say, the old can be as stu­pid and imma­ture as the young, so age has noth­ing to do with it.

      (I total­ly need to buy more Tea Forte bags to use with those trays.)

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