Take a leaf off a tree. Is it still a tree? Take a single twig off a tree. Is it still a tree? Remove an entire branch from a tree. Is it still a tree? Take off half of the branches. Is it still a tree? Cut down the whole tree, leaving only the stump. Is it still a tree? Many people would say no, it is no longer a tree, though the roots may still be in the ground. Well, where did the tree go? Removing a leaf, it remains a tree, but not by removing all of the branches and the trunk?
In the real world, there aren’t any things as we commonly think of them. A ‘thing’ as we refer to it is only a noun. A noun is merely an idea, a mental construct. These ‘things’ exist only in our minds. There is no tree, there is only the idea of a tree.
—Anonymous
I’ve been writing here for almost a decade, pouring 10 years of my life into this blog. I recently considered cleaning up the content by deleting a significant chunk of my old entries; I’m not the same person as when I wrote them, and I don’t even like who I was back then. Not to mention the fact that some are rather embarrassing, like reading your old diary in high school when the biggest problem was what people thought when you wore your uniform cause you forgot it was a Civvies Day.
The problem I was faced with was deciding what should be deleted. People aren’t static; they’re processes, events, evolutions, made up of cells that continually renew themselves on a daily basis. At what definable point can I say these entries are no longer me? It could be argued that even posts as recent as a few months ago aren’t an accurate representation, though there may still remnants of the old me in the habits of my thoughts.
Then I came across this passage in The Tao by Mark Forstater, on the subject of how using human language to encompass and describe a concept such as the Tao is logically suspect: “Reality can’t be enclosed and described by words. Symbols aren’t real in the way that a tree is real, and however much we may delude ourselves that they are, we’ll eventually find that the word ‘water’ won’t quench our thirst.”
I came to accept that the things I write here have never been and never will be a complete reflection of who I am, so I’ve decided to keep all the entries. The ones written by my old self serve as a reminder of who I was, and at the very least, they tell me where I’ve been and how far I’ve come.
I am still dealing with this issue every time I move, because my life was all in journals.… HEAVY ones… which I keep debating whether I’ll scan and toss. How would I ever come to throwing away the very pages I drew on, dwelt on, wept on (literally), and carried around all this time?… and yet.… is it the idea? or is it the physical tree? the book leaves I want to hold in my hands… Somehow so far I can’t be satisfied without the tangible feel of pages. I like that they smell old. I like that the wire rusts. I don’t like that my twenties were pretty much chomped by termites.… but they’re my loved bits of my time. And they always surprise me — for better or worse.
I was one who advocated idea over matter the most, and yet I find this in myself.
There’s definitely something about a hardcover journal, and the texture of the paper you would lose if you scanned and tossed it. I still remember certain pages of my old notebooks, the fibres warped from stains of tea or tears.
And oh the smell…
You have to accept that the things are not builded that you will ever understand. Lets ask an ant or a cat they should explain and write down how our world works, how a car work or a company, hospital.….…lets imagine they able to write.….they will wrote down the same sensless things we do now.…..we not able to understand and all your things never, never explain the truth.….sure there is no spoon or no chair .…..maybe everything is a dream,.…..but give up…you wasting time.… who ever build that universe with all the big uncountable plantes, animals.…..till the smallest part .…..only he can let us understand small parts of it or not.….you are smaller like an ant and he bigger like us.….we have limits you need to accept If not you will find it out.