i know i found the recipe for me

All I do nowa­days is dance. Not in any coor­di­nat­ed man­ner, mind you, and cer­tain­ly not in the pres­ence of any­one else.

I’m only now start­ing to real­ize how nec­es­sary it was for me to sur­vive that cru­cible last year, and how impor­tant it was for me to save myself. It has­n’t tem­pered the extremes, but they don’t last as long any­more.

Blue Mountain village at night


It’s com­fort­ing to know I’ve been through this before. It was­n’t all for noth­ing. I’m a lit­tle wis­er now, and I’m not going to make the same mis­takes again.

This win­ter hit us heavy once more, and like it I refuse to die.


  1. I hap­pened to be think­ing of the old movie “Educating Rita” this morn­ing.…. about a low­class hair­cut­ter who breaks free of her work­ing class back­ground to end up becom­ing a sharp col­lege stu­dent. When it came out I read the reviews; one crit­ic said that unfor­tu­nate­ly, as the movie pro­gress­es and Julie Walker’s char­ac­ter becomes more and more sophis­ti­cat­ed, she becomes more nor­mal — and less inter­est­ing.

    I ful­ly hope you will become less inter­est­ing in your emo­tion­al life (for all the right rea­sons) and that you will some­day become so con­tent as to have your blog bore the hell out of me.

    • Sometimes I won­der if I’ll ever stop writ­ing. For a while that was my goal, to be so total­ly at peace that I nev­er need­ed to pick up a note­book and a pen again, but I know I’d lose my cre­ativ­i­ty too, as it’s often fueled by con­flict or uncer­tain­ty or unhap­pi­ness. Now I don’t know what I want any­more.

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