i know i found the recipe for me

All I do nowadays is dance. Not in any coordinated manner, mind you, and certainly not in the presence of anyone else.

I’m only now starting to realize how necessary it was for me to survive that crucible last year, and how important it was for me to save myself. It hasn’t tempered the extremes, but they don’t last as long anymore.

Blue Mountain village at night


It’s comforting to know I’ve been through this before. It wasn’t all for nothing. I’m a little wiser now, and I’m not going to make the same mistakes again.

This winter hit us heavy once more, and like it I refuse to die.


  1. I happened to be thinking of the old movie “Educating Rita” this morning….. about a lowclass haircutter who breaks free of her working class background to end up becoming a sharp college student. When it came out I read the reviews; one critic said that unfortunately, as the movie progresses and Julie Walker’s character becomes more and more sophisticated, she becomes more normal — and less interesting.

    I fully hope you will become less interesting in your emotional life (for all the right reasons) and that you will someday become so content as to have your blog bore the hell out of me.

    • Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever stop writing. For a while that was my goal, to be so totally at peace that I never needed to pick up a notebook and a pen again, but I know I’d lose my creativity too, as it’s often fueled by conflict or uncertainty or unhappiness. Now I don’t know what I want anymore.

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