Love Bias

Sometimes, she reach­es down and grabs a hand­ful of my der­rière. I laugh a ner­vous laugh, and she chides me.

It’s a reflex. None of my girl­friends have been so zeal­ous in their pinch­ing, or rev­eled in such an act. My laugh is one of sur­prise, and a good one at that.

This is what upsets her. But how should I react oth­er­wise? I hard­ly con­sid­er this thin-framed body, a frail com­par­i­son to the phys­i­cal con­ven­tions of a man, as being sex­u­al or attrac­tive.

This is why I think she loves me.

Otherwise, she’d see me as the rest of the world sees me.


  1. Are you nuts? You are total­ly dap­per and hand­some!

    • Dapper…I nev­er thought of my style that way, but I total­ly agree now that I think about it. Thanks!

  2. How could you pos­si­bly even assume to know what the world thinks of you?

    • I assume only based on past expe­ri­ences and what peo­ple have said to me.

  3. Boo Hiss! you are love­ly and you should know it by now.

    And that is what she sees. All your love­li­ness.

    What past expe­ri­ence must teach you is that every­one is a crit­ic, and that it real­ly does­n’t mat­ter and that’s why it is a past expe­ri­ence.

    I can’t believe that no one has grabbed your booty before. Just rev­el in the feel­ing of such pas­sion!

    • On top of that, I think we’re our own worst crit­ics too. But you’re right, it’s called a past expe­ri­ence, and I should just care about the moment.

      I do have it admit, it’s a good feel­ing!

  4. Come come, we’ve been flat­ter­ing you here for over a cou­ple of years. Don’t you know you’re cute YET?

    • I guess not. There has been some psy­cho­log­i­cal dam­age done my par­ents.

  5. I love this entry.

    I think that I kind of under­stand what you meant in a pre­vi­ous post about how you’ve changed your writ­ing, or how you go about it (maybe?)but I still believe, maybe naive­ly so, that the very core and beau­ty that you are able to cap­ture in writ­ing is not some­thing that you can ful­ly rule. It’s just there.
    But then again, at the same time I expe­ri­ence that there’s a sig­nif­i­cant dif­fer­ence between your posts — there’s the ones where the, let’s call it ‘artis­tic flow’, is “on” and then there’s the ones where it’s not so much. Where it’s just dif­fer­ent, the lan­guage and flow is more from A to B sort of writ­ing. But this dif­fer­ence also makes it pos­si­ble to relate to you and the very sub­ject, it’s depth maybe, even though it’s through my own and per­son­al (as always, death of the author etc) inter­pre­ta­tion of your words, videos or pho­tographs. I love that too though, that your ini­tial ideas behind your words and entries cease to exist or become blur­ry once you invite the world to take part of it. There’s just some­thing love­ly about that whole process, at least to me.
    But then again, that’s only my inter­pre­ta­tion and maybe I am los­ing myself some­where inbe­tween inter­pre­ta­tion and trans­la­tion. I’m not com­plete­ly sure.

    A bit off top­ic, but it had to be said. Maybe some­day I will even answer your ques­tion about my dream. But for now, this is all I could come up with!

    • It’s always nice to get an out­side per­spec­tive on my writ­ing, a long-term one espe­cial­ly. I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees (and appre­ci­ates) it.

      You’ve helped me real­ize that the core of cer­tain writ­ing can’t be ful­ly ruled is what makes it what it is. I should learn to appre­ci­ate it when it comes, instead of try­ing to find it or con­trol it.

      Thank you for your insight.

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