At one point in my life, I believed I was like a jester in my pur­suit of mak­ing oth­er peo­ple hap­py. I did­n’t real­ly care how I was doing, the knowl­edge that my friends were well was enough to get me through the day. Nowadays, I think I’ve become more self­ish. There seems to be a dif­fuse feel­ing of non-sat­is­fac­tion.

Have I become more cyn­i­cal?

I expect noth­ing from oth­ers. I still believe that my hap­pi­ness can only be a result of my own actions. Yet it still fills me with a feel­ing of ela­tion to know that I have been able to help some­one else. Perhaps I’m hop­ing that the favour may be returned to me some­day. Realistic would be a bet­ter word.

However, the thought that the peo­ple I care about are hap­py is still enough to sati­ate. I’ll take that as a good thing.

Forget about me.