Things feel very different right now. I know that everything is always changing, everything is constantly moving, and that no matter how static my life seems at the time, my mind is always working. I begin to see things quite differently. I’m really not sure how to explain it. For some reason, my thoughts begin to come around full circle every six months or so. My mind is never at the same place I am.
It’s an odd realization, to know that I’ve changed so much, yet so little within the last six months. I remember telling Sam one time when I was 15 that I probably wouldn’t change from the way I was back then. How wrong I was. There has been nothing but change, change that I can only see long after it has passed. I look back on what I was like in first year, and I become so embarrassed.
And now things feel so odd, as if I’ve never been in such a situation before, as if I’m looking through a new pair of eyes, yet kept my old experiences. It’s such a hard situation to define, since I feel like I can never truly understand it until is over, like the dead in Dante’s Inferno.
None of this feels familiar.