What is it about a speech imped­i­ment that is so fuck­ing sexy? I think part of the appeal is that it has the same attrac­tive­ness as an accent, except an imped­i­ment extends beyond the exotic­ness that an accent can offer. Maybe there’s the (sub)conscious detec­tion of a weak­ness involved that draws me, the way high heels are sup­pose to make girls look like they’re flee­ing when the calves are con­tract­ed.

I can’t imag­ine any­one being embar­rassed about such a beau­ti­ful thing. Lisps, stut­ters, stam­mers, slurs, tics; any­thing can make me melt. If a girl would speak, I could lis­ten all day with­out utter­ing a word. Even the strength of the imped­i­ment is of no con­se­quence. I’m in awe, from the sub­tle­ness of a lazy tongue, to the harsh­ness of an over­ac­tive genioglos­sus.

How can I even speak about some­thing as gor­geous as a unique, flawed, extra­or­di­nary artic­u­la­tion?

I can’t.