On Writing, Self-Awareness, and Going Somewhere
I
don’t write the same anymore, or about the same things. I’ve lost my
fervent verbosity. Every time I sit at my computer, my mind blanks.
Writing has become a chore. Even this entry has taken me days to think
through. I find myself writing and rewriting every point, every
paragraph.In the beginning, blogging was a form of catharsis. Developing cognitively beyond my adolescence was an emotional period, filled with confusion and growing pains. The only way I could make sense of it all was to write out my thoughts, forcing myself to reflect and learn from every challenge.
It
was also a useful tool in figuring myself out, as a part of my life
where I could approach things with the conviction that I lacked in the
rest of my life. Now that I’ve gained enough confidence, it doesn’t
seem so necessary to prove myself with words anymore. It would seem
that I’ve become a victim of my own self-assuredness.I could fill this blog with entries, finding solace in the written word, when I was going through something as simple as a bad day. As time has passed, I’ve elimanated most of the things that bother me enough to turn to this medium. It was a slow and systematic process, both internal and external. My new-found serenity has left me with little rage. I’m happier now, and happiness is too hard to write.
It would seem that I’ve run out of things to say.
There have been few epiphanies, and even less inspiration, in the last while. Maybe it’s because I’m in the middle of a transition. It takes a foundation of stability, something I haven’t had in months, to grow. My life hasn’t quite settled yet.
Writer’s block is a sign that I’ve stopped growing, a testament to what and how much I’ve been through.
But more importantly, it’s a sign that I’m approaching where I want to go in my life.
hey buddy! it's been a while. i'm glad about your coming-of-age sentiments. hehehe, but let it not be a hindrance to your blogging. maybe not as angry or angstful. but i would agree that happiness is hard to write. explains why i can't blog nowadays...coleen
Posted by Anonymous | 4:01 AM
i know exactly how you feel.
you shouldn't be forced to write. blogging, as you said is form of therapy. you can always come back.
don't let it be a chore. if you're happy. celebrate your happiness.
Posted by CheR | 3:42 PM
crap crap crap
that's the shallowest of shallow
not only stealing someones ideas and pretending their yours, but copying and pasting an entire blog entry, so eloquently written, so thoughtful, and pretending that's yours..
ever hear of KARMA?????
only YOU know how empty inside you really are...you, me and Jeff...from whom you STOLE and PLAGERIZED ...if you even know what that english word means:P
pisss off and write your own sentences.....
Posted by Amy | 10:52 AM
I know too (that you stole this post). Very sad. I feel sorry for you.
Posted by Bean | 3:05 PM
How sad for you that you felt it was okay to take words someone else poured their heart and soul into writing and post them as your own.
http://www.equivocality.com/2006/09/14/carlo-the-crook/
It's silly to think that no one will notice. Bad karma...
Posted by prairiegirl | 9:59 PM