I’m exhausted today. I try not to acknowledge it, but my body keeps reminding me.
How is it doing this?
I just peeled a banana, and with the peel in my hand I threw the banana in the garbage.
My dad did the same thing once with an orange. “The old man’s going senile”, I thought to myself.
Hopefully, it’s not due to some degenerative brain disease, but the 12-hours I put in at work until midnight yesterday.
My new schedule involves going to therapy after work on Mondays. Today, I also have to go to my framer to sign my photos and mats afterwards. I was going to pick up a drop cloth and background stand at the photography store in between, but I think I’ll skip that.
We’re in the middle of a server swap at work, so I expect client computers to be bursting into flames today. I’m also organizing a pot luck for the company at the end of the week.
My mind feels like it’s going in eight different directions at once.
But as long as I feel, I know I’m alright.
A reader sent me this letter (posted with her permission, of course):
Almost a year after I had managed to leave the island behind, the room, the floor, the sheets, the rape – I accidently ended up on your blog entry called “The beginning to the end” and it changed my world. It awoke feelings inside of me that I had for a years time tried to suppress and scare off so that I never again would open up to anyone, never trust anyone and therefor never end up in the same situation again. At that time, all men were a potential threath to me.
Reading and watching that very blogentry have had such a great impact on my life and will to become ‘myself’ again, to reclaim my body and to dare to move towards feeling and being ‘beautiful’ again. Your video granted me the sensation of how sincere, pure and giving love and affection truly are when it’s shared and not forced. It made me remember blocked out feelings and situations and it made me start to long for something that I had completely shut out for over a year.
I have been wanting to write you this email for quite some time, but I havent been sure of myself or if the “new” me (which is the old in fact) would survive and I didnt want to make this into a sunshine story if it really wasnt – but after many downhills, trials and tribulations, theraphy and social interaction, I am there, I am back and I am standing strong again. Nothing will ever be the same, but at least I made the right choice, for me. I have always been lifeloving in overload and even if I am only halfway there yet, it is still enough to keep me going.
I still watch that video every now and then, to remind myself that anything is possible and that you can recieve “help” from the most unexpected sources. It used to make me cry, now it makes me smile instead, isnt that beautiful? I know perfectly well that you never meant to post that entry for me, but it helped me in one of the most difficult times in my life and for that I will be forever grateful. Thank you.
I’m at a loss for words.
The Emergence Exposition: Opus 02 vernissage is coming up in three weeks and if you’re in the Ottawa area, you can drop by to see my exhibit!
The show is free. Over three hundred people were packed into the last one. I’ll be the one walking around with a camera strapped to his hand.
Four exhibition rooms, Four creative styles
Like the exhibitions of old France, the idea of this gallery-house is to have a mixture of different artistic styles.
J’ai eu envie de recréer quelque chose dans cet esprit-là. Il ya un côté intimidant et même assez froid aux galeries d’art. Les gens n’osent pas toujours entrer, mais je veux leur montrer que l’art c’est pour tout le monde, dans une ambiance chaleureuse.
— Frédéric Daty, gallery owner
There will be four visual artists — metal sculptor, ceramic sculptor, painter, photographer (me) — and three musical artists — concert pianist, harpist, soft pop musician. Featuring champagne and homemade truffles too!
For more details and a glimpse at some more of my work in this theme, you can read the description in the new photography section, as well download the invitation.
It snowed all day yesterday, and well into the night. The whiteness outside reflects the sky and has filled my house with bright light. It’s the weekend and I’m awake.
I’ve fallen in love with smoothies. They are usually comprised of three bananas, three tangerines, a third of a pineapple, yogurt, juice, and frozen 4-fruit berry or summer fruit salad. I have three a day. This makes me poo like crazy.
Life has been exhaustingly busy. The photo sessions are over, post-processing is done, and my pictures are all printed. The only thing left is to get them framed. I had my first session with my psychologist. I’m cancelling my Tai Chi tomorrow. I have to plan my relaxation, and this doesn’t make it very relaxing.
This weekend I hope to:
- catch up on my e-mails
- fill out a bunch of forms my psychologist gave me, including a multimodal life history inventory
- order some Moo cards
- work on a client’s website
- add a photography/portfolio section to my site
- fit some fun in there somewhere
Next week is going to be even more crazy, no pun intended. Monday I’m meeting with the framer, Tuesday and Thursday I have Tai Chi, Wednesday I’m having dinner at the gallery and meeting the other artists.
I haven’t been sleeping well. In the midst of all this sociability, I’ve been battling my anxiety. It’s filled me with a quiet determination, but the long exposure has worn me down.
10.0 is currently being featured at Perishable Press, the first in a series of articles exploring minimalism in modern web design. From the article:
Equivocality’s new minimalist design is very impressive. The site appears clean, bright and refreshing and navigates with natural simplicity. Jeff has eliminated clutter to focus on content, which is strongly unified within the site’s sharp, spacious design. Attentive visitors will revel in the site’s exquisitely restrained details, such as the subtle texture provided by the bleached background grid, or the dynamic interplay between complementary typefaces, Arial and Avenir. Overall, the design’s thematic neutrality and universal approach inspire visitors to relax, focus, and enjoy.
In addition to a detailed site review, Jeff Starr did a mini interview with me. I’ve come across Perishable Press several times through my WordPress wanderings and it was great to work with someone I’ve always known but never met.