Love is a Bohemian Child

Quand je vous aimerai?
ma foi, je ne sais pas,
peut-être jamais, peut-être demain,
mais pas aujourd’hui, c’est certain.

One day, he dis­cov­ered that she loved him just as much as the day she left, and that every new man she sought for com­fort was just another attempt to replace him; he was unlike any­one she had ever met before. But there was noth­ing that could be done; the pain had left him cold and unmoved.

So enough about love, he said, for love is often fickle and unrequited.

And it’s only being on both sides of such an idea that allows him to accept this.

Love is a Rebellious Bird

L’amour est un oiseau rebelle
que nul ne peut apprivoiser,
et c’est bien en vain qu’on l’appelle,
s’il lui con­vient de refuser

Suddenly, he came upon the real­iza­tion that her beauty unin­ten­tion­ally entraps men, who are then led to their down­fall by their own mis­guided ideas of love, and that he was sim­ply another one of many. Not that it mat­tered any­way; to force such things is futile.

So enough about love, he said, for love is often fickle and unrequited.

Tu ne l’attends plus, il est là!

Photographing Couples

Julie and Blake about to kiss

Julie and Blake kissing series

Been work­ing on pho­tograph­ing cou­ples the past few months. It’s more dif­fi­cult than I ini­tially thought. You want to express love, but there are only so many ways one can do so with­out kissing.

You’re no longer pho­tograph­ing an expres­sion, as with a sin­gle per­son por­trait, but an inter­ac­tion.

Julie and Blake hug

Julie and Blake hugging series

Having two peo­ple express them­selves in such a way can be tricky too. Many are too shy to kiss in pub­lic, let alone on camera.

When it works, though, it works. You can see it in their faces. The way their eyes shine. It’s almost like they lose them­selves, because they’re drown­ing in each other, and noth­ing else in the world exists.

And, of course, best viewed large and on black. Click through for full size.

Developments and Denouements

Lights down, sound up, for this one. Maybe some tea and a pas­try if it’s not too late.

I had Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs play­ing here.

Stripped down, the beat alter­nates between triplet–three–one–two-three–one–two and one-two-three–one–two-three–one–two, fool­ing the lis­tener into think­ing it’s in some sort of com­plex time-signature. It’s actu­ally based in com­mon time, but with the triplets in there and the down-beat (marked by the open snare) falling on four and then three of the next bar, the song takes on a syn­co­pated rhythm. This isn’t what makes the song good, though. It’s all Karen O and her voice.

I’ve been so moody lately. Up and down. Developments and denoue­ments. Most likely a result of my over­think­ing and over­plan­ning over every­thing. Still try­ing to take things one day at a time, with­out rush­ing head first, with­out falling head over heels.

It’s all a mix­ture of good and bad. Sometimes, I don’t even know how to feel.

I’ve begun see­ing my psy­chol­o­gist on a session-by-session basis (instead of on a sched­ule — an indi­ca­tion of progress). In between, my Tai Chi classes have become my ther­apy. There’s some­thing about class that cen­tres me; the cama­raderie, the move­ments, the breath­ing, the con­tact, the feel­ing that I’m improv­ing a part of myself, bit by bit, even if it’s sub­con­sciously. A time where I can totally focus, a place where I can for­get every­thing else.

Afterwards, it’s a drive home in the dark with the win­dows down, and the rustling of wind in my hair.

The seren­ity car­ries for­ward. I’m recharged again. Then I’m strong enough to be myself. I’m strong enough to accept these feelings.

They don’t love you like I love you.

Things I Learned At My First Western Funeral

  • I still know the words to the Lord’s Prayer and Amazing Grace, thanks to my years at Catholic School and UCC
  • It’s not the words of the speaker that make us cry, it’s their own emo­tion. Therefore, humans are born with an innate sense of empathy.
  • Old peo­ple like to pick at their faces
  • The pas­tor may go on longer about their reli­gion, than the per­son who passed away and their faith. This is more to com­fort those in mourn­ing, than about hon­our­ing the mem­ory of the dead.
  • Knowing some­one for only a month before get­ting mar­ried can lead to over sixty years of mar­i­tal bliss