Hello Neighbour

Nighttime condo

The blinds are open so I can see out­side.

Secretly, I hope a face from one of the win­dows will appear and look out­side, some­one who’s think­ing the same thing, so that I may not be so alone. A way of com­fort­ing myself, when I’m by myself in this veneer of a house.

I’m not sure if it’s work­ing.

3 comments

  1. We recent­ly replaced our front door with a new one and we also had a storm screen door with a lock installed so that I can leave the door open and still feel safe. Since I was unable to do this before I find myself some­times just stand­ing in the door look­ing out at what­ev­er is pass­ing by. Not that much goes on, but I will see the kids from up the block rid­ing their bikes and peo­ple using our street as a short­cut away from the main road. I’m sure if any­body real­ly paid atten­tion they would think I was com­plete­ly bonkers!

  2. As a child I always looked in peo­ple’s warm yel­low lit win­dows from my evening walk down our street (streets were more safe then), mar­vel­ling at how every­one had their lit­tle per­fect bub­ble worlds. Quite fre­quent­ly I’d won­der why mine nev­er felt like theirs and no one ever stopped to see the voyeur out on their side­walk. It felt like being halfway up the stairs and halfway down; I did­n’t feel I fit quite anywhere…and even­tu­al­ly came to find a peace­ful dis­tance in this feel­ing.

    I’ve often won­dered if that was a worse or a bet­ter way to adjust.

  3. @Lucy — That’s inter­est­ing; I’ve nev­er seen a screen door with­out a lock. The ones I have seen, how­ev­er, are flim­sy at best. And yes, that sounds like some­thing a creepy neigh­bour­hood stalk­er would do, but as a woman, I’m sure it isn’t viewed in the same light.

    @Xibee — The “bub­ble” is a great anal­o­gy. When I see the lights in the win­dows, it’s always a dif­fer­ent colour, from the glow of the TV set and what­ev­er pro­gram they’re watch­ing. It’s like the pris­mat­ic rain­bow you see in a bub­ble.

    I don’t think you were ever meant to feel like oth­er peo­ple or fit in. That’s a good thing though. Otherwise, we would­n’t have your unique per­spec­tive. And if you’ve found peace with it, that’s even bet­ter.

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