It’s Friday. Pizza day. At Louise’s house, the parents don’t feel like cooking, and the kids get a treat.
The slices are out. The salad’s in the serving bowl. Everyone has an accommodating fork, napkin, and slice. I see Eric move a hand to his face in the corner of my eye, and assume that he’s started eating.
As the guest, this means I’m allowed to eat too. I take a bite out of my slice, but before I can even chew, I realize that Eric was just scratching his beard. With a smile on his face, he says “Don’t forget about grace, Jeff”.
It’s a double whammy.
It reminded me of something that happened when I was a teenager. Matt was over. Pizza night. As the guest, Matt got the first slice. He waited while the rest were being handed out, but my dad, without any sense of formality, took a bite as soon as he had one. Neither of my parents noticed, but there was a startled look on Matt’s face. He quickly closed his eyes, held a fist to his face (not a clenched one, but as if holding the beads of a Rosary), and said a prayer in his head.
I always imagined that it went, “ThankyouGodforthispizzaandformygracioushosts”, because he was done so quickly.
It made me wonder, what was in that look? What do those who ask thanks of their meal think of those who don’t? What do Christians think of those who don’t say grace? What do Muslims think of those who don’t fast? Are we unappreciative? Do we take our food for granted?
Eric’s tone is kind though, not condescending or judgmental, as if to say, “We only ask you to do this for the sake of our kids”.
Louise asks Sarah if she’d like to say grace. She sings a song that bears a striking — excuse the pun — resemblance to the melody of the Westminster quarters (along with choreography).
Hark to the chimes (arms held upwards and open)
Come bow your head (hands together in prayer)
We thank thee lord (arms upward again)
For this good bread (hands together again)
But as a seven-year-old, Sarah doesn’t know the right words. She says “heart” instead of “hark”. “You” instead of “thee”.
No one mentions it though. Not everyone is perfect. One can be forgiven.
Even me, I hope.
I frankly have always thought it rude that when a guest is present they make them endure something awkward. As a Christian myself, but not that kind, I would never ask that. And it seems belabored to me: Why not say thanks out loud for everything, anything, then? I am as grateful for many things. Plumbing comes to mind. Air Conditioning. Having a friend who will come over for pizza. But I don’t say anything aloud about it for benefit of anyone.
Oops. I could see how the peripheral vision would see that.
I’d rather pause for gracefulness than grace but hey, as Xibee says, thanks for all things.
I’ve been chided by a Muslim man for not saying a prayer before eating as he does each time. A nun came to my rescue saying she’s sure I said it silently in my heart. Nope but thanks for her save anyway. :)
I still recall as a child being called out in some sort of song by fellow children, my being compared to an animal for having elbows on the table. People is funny when it comes to food, eating it or thinking about eating it.
I’m just getting to a place in my life where I’m immensely grateful for so many things.
I wasn’t brought up ‘religiously’ my family never attended church.
But I really like the idea of ‘grace’ before eating.
It is so impoprtant to be grateful and show gratitude.
I think we will start teaching our children that habit, being grateful for something as ‘simple’ as food to nourish our bodies.
Thanks for the post
and the reminder.
cheers from the west
Bro, does snacking count? Cause man, when I’m at your place, I find my hands feeding my mouth subconsciously. I’ll be heading to the living room to setup my nest prior to us throwing on the upcoming movie to enjoy together and all of a sudden I find myself eating … chips? “where did I get these?” says one inner voice, immediately following is the other inner voice saying “go with it”. And so I continue to head to the nest and wait for dinner to be ready before starting the movie.
- SnackMasterPro
@Xibee — Some people like their guests to eat as soon as the food is served so it doesn’t get cold. I think it’s really practical. Some things we only do because we’re used to them, without questioning.
I also agree about being thankful for everything, but I think that bread is the perfect symbol of everything that we have. It’s the first thing that we want, and what we need to survive. A/C or indoor plumbing aren’t completely necessary.
@Pearl — I don’t agree with people who chide others. Respect goes both ways; I’ll respect someone’s culture, but they should respect mine (or lack thereof).
Most people (that I hang around with, at least) don’t mind elbows on the table, but I’ll only do it when I notice that the host is doing it.
There are a lot of funny old traditions when it comes to food. Tycho Brahe died because he didn’t go to the bathroom even though he had a bladder condition. Back in the 16th century, it was considered rude to go to the bathroom before the meal was finished.
@amy — I like the idea of grace too. It’s an important thing to be appreciative of what we have, and it doesn’t have to be bound to a religion. It isn’t completely necessary to do it every day, but it’s a nice little ritual to have. Gets one thinking every day, and helps put things in perspective.
@Aaron — Hahhahah…makes me wonder if Christians say grace before popping Smarties in their mouths, or snacking on their chips. Just this weekend I found out that grace is said before every meal, including lunch and breakfast. Made me realize that I’ve never been to a Christian’s house for something other than dinner.
re: Tycho Brahe — Ay yay yay, dying out of politeness is taking gracefulness too far.
I know…he’ll probably go down as the most polite guest of all time!