A lit­tle while ago I put up an up-to-the-minute script that would tell me how many peo­ple were view­ing this page, out of curios­ity. It’s always inter­est­ing to find out that some­one is vis­it­ing at the same time that I am. This week I noticed that I had 3 vis­i­tors online while I was updat­ing. I was pretty sur­prised, since most inter­net surfers spend much less than a minute at a page before leav­ing (most will leave the page if it doesn’t load within eight sec­onds, a use­ful fact to know for web designers).

I checked my stats and found out that I’m still get­ting more than 100 vis­its daily, which is some­thing that I don’t under­stand. I haven’t done much to adver­tise my site aside from a few Canadian blog list­ings, and only a hand­ful of the peo­ple I per­son­ally know check on a reg­u­lar basis. I don’t think I talk about con­tro­ver­sial issues that really gen­er­ate any dis­cus­sion, or any­thing that’s very inter­est­ing for that mat­ter. I don’t pan­der to poten­tial vis­i­tors, I don’t cen­sor myself, I don’t address an audi­ence, and half the time I’m just vent­ing about this or that. I first made this site over a year ago as an out­let for per­sonal expres­sion, and the pur­pose hasn’t changed one bit ever since. I won­der if peo­ple come here by mis­take or look­ing for some­thing spe­cific. I per­son­ally have my daily reads (most of them female authors, since there seems to be a short­age of male blog­gers) of peo­ple who have lives that are very dif­fer­ent from mine. Most are just plain inter­est­ing, and some give me a few alter­nate perspectives.

I wish I knew what peo­ple came here for.

Access to my con­trol panel, my data­base, and my scripts has been tem­porar­ily dis­abled. Apparently, a rep­re­sen­ta­tive of a musi­cal group has con­tacted my host in regards to an mp3 I have stored. Instead of con­tact­ing me first, the rep­re­sen­ta­tive decided to bring the issue up with my host. I would have been fine with remov­ing the mp3 from my site if I was sim­ply asked. I real­ized that it was a vio­la­tion of my terms of ser­vice, but I didn’t think that any­one ever vis­ited this site, so I had the song for archival pur­poses. Now, I have no way of updat­ing my con­tent, in what has become my main heal­ing medium. I can­not be slowed by this, and even though it feels as though I have no means of expres­sion or com­mu­ni­ca­tion, I still feel the need to write.