equivocality — Jeff Ngan's collection of thoughts, experiences, and projects, inspired by pretty much everything
30 May 07

A Weekend with Darren

I had Darren over from Toronto for the week­end. We were going to do a movie marathon at the the­atre — three in a day — but the movies all sucked. Disturbia? Georgia Rule? Please. Instead, I bought the first sea­son of Six Feet Under, and we fin­ished the roughly 11 hour sea­son over two days. Now I can re-watch it with Bronwen and lend it to Pat. To be hon­est, I’d seen up to the sec­ond sea­son before, but I was too stoned to remem­ber most of it.

Thumbnail: Air-tight tea container

Thumbnail: Chai tea

Darren also gave me a nice tea con­tainer. It’s rather large, since I buy my tea 50mg at a time, but bet­ter too big than too small. He also got me some chai tea, con­sid­ered a well­ness blend. When I asked him what for, he couldn’t give me a rea­son. I love gifts for no reason.

We shared our tat­too ideas, and his was the Chinese char­ac­ter for love on his back. Darren and Bronwen are the some of the few peo­ple I can talk openly with about love. We’re such hope­less roman­tics. We tell each other that we’ll never be mar­ried, not to be self-depracating, but to be hon­est with our­selves. We have our ideals, and we’ll never set­tle for any­thing less. It’s com­fort­ing to know that we’re not alone in our quixotic beliefs.

11 Aug 05

An Odd Mood Lately

I spend my time squar­ing away every­thing in my room so that I’m com­fort­able enough to write. The extra cables are gone, as well as the ran­dom receipts and bus trans­fers that some­how end up on the car­pet. My mir­rors are all in place, mak­ing the room seem twice as big, but I when I look I only see myself, slouched com­fort­ably in my chair, hood over my head. Even Dolly has won­dered in to lay her­self flat on the empty floor. By the time I’m done clean­ing, I’m at a loss for all the things I’ve been try­ing to get into well struc­tured paragraphs.

A new episode of Trailer Park Boys is play­ing on Showcase, and I’m watch­ing it with the sound off because too much infor­ma­tion would ruin the fourth sea­son, some­thing I’m deter­mined to see in order from the begin­ning. Ricky’s in a high school, com­pletely out of place as a thirty-something man in shop class try­ing to make some hash or grow some weed or har­vest some kind of nar­cotic, and this only adds to my amusement.

I’ve been let­ting my hair grow out, à la Matt Heafy in the video for Pull Harder On The Strings Of Your Martyr. Somehow, I’ve only now dis­cov­ered that my hair nat­u­rally grows towards the front, and by brush­ing it for­ward, it still looks respectable when I haven’t had it cut in a month and a half.

I’ve been in an odd mood lately. Thoughts branch off in my mind, but noth­ing seems solid enough to fol­low through. Inspiration always comes the day after today.

01 Jul 05

I'm Going Back To Basics

With work hours, gam­ing with (or against) John, and extra-curricular com­puter activ­i­ties in most of my free time, my right arm is devel­op­ing a reoc­cur­ring ran­dom ail­ment. Some days it’s a pinch­ing, some days it’s a numb­ness, some days it’s a weak­ness. I know that they’re all bad signs, and I’ve been stretch­ing reg­u­larly (the exer­cises that Loo showed me), but I can’t really seem to give up my com­puter time. I never under­stood why she wouldn’t take a break from her mas­sage ther­apy prac­tice, even though it was bust­ing up her wrists, but now I do.

I have the entire long-weekend to write, but it’ll be in a water-logged note­book get­ting close to retire­ment, to take some stress off my arm. I’ve had this note­book for over five years now, but the wear has long started to show.

The orig­i­nal plan was to head to John’s cot­tage for the long-weekend, but it turns out that it would be almost 12 hours of trav­el­ing, which isn’t even worth it if I took an extra day off. Trolley went home for the week­end, so I’ve got the house to myself. There are some Canada Day activ­i­ties going on, but recent deal­ings with bull­shit peo­ple have left me anti-social.

I’ll also have the chance to watch the first sea­son of Battlestar Gallactica, which Jeff thought­fully gave me at the house­warm­ing party. I’ve been extremely impressed by what I’ve seen so far. Most of the camera-work, even the scenes in space, are hand­held. It’s gives the entire show that reality-tv feel, as if we were inno­cent observers stand­ing on board the ship. The music is beau­ti­fully tribal, as opposed to the dated orches­tral scores of most other sci-fi series. Especially well-written are the char­ac­ters in the crew; alco­holics, can­cer vic­tims, boot­leg­gers, but most of all, they’re human.