One of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to me was when I was getting intimate with a person I just started dating. She suddenly said, “I don’t think we should be doing this…”, in a sort of whiny, operatic tone.

First thought: “Uh oh”

Second thought: “Oh wait, I get it. Quick, say something sexy”

First words out of mouth: “Don’t you want to?”

Third thought: “Oh god I’m an idiot”

Her response: “Just gotta play along…”

We hadn’t known each other for very long, so it’s not like the whole concept of role-playing had been previously discussed. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because I’m the worst actor in the world if I’m unprepared. If I have a story or mindset planned out beforehand I can act perfectly, but if I have to think on the spot my mind just freezes. The hardest part of a situation like this is that I’d feel like I was taking advantage of a girl (albeit falsely), which is something I don’t think I could even pretend to do.

I wonder if anyone else enjoys making love when they’re sad.