While writing this, I realized that my RSS subscribers will lose most of the entry; more than half of it is in the captions of the photos, which are embedded in the link tag. Almost all my pictures have captions actually. I may try writing a WordPress plugin or modify Lightbox JS 2 to display the captions in subscription feeds.
Pat and Jen had ten of us over for the Victoria day weekend. They put the extra leafs in the table and it was twelve in all. Potato casserole, ribs, drumsticks, sausages, salad, corn-on-the-cob, and I don’t even remember what was on the other end. It was funny to see how proud Pat was that there was too much food to fit on the 12 person table. I can understand though; there’s nothing more satisfying than being a good host. I prefer the host role to the guest role actually. It’s when I can be in control of the situation, and I’m much better at making sure people are taking care of than being taken care of myself (I think a sense of imposing is what contributes to this).
I won my first game of Settlers of Catan. The quiet ones are the ones who win, they say, so I tried to keep my mouth shut amidst all the jocular smack-talk. The guys also played Capcom vs. SNK 2. Even though we all come from different backgrounds, every single one of us knew how to play. Very telling of how pervasive the Street Fighter series is to our generation.
The guests help clean up without asking, they thank you for having them, and in return, the hosts thank you for coming. You can tell a lot about people, not just from their friends, but their company as well.
At the rehearsal dinner I was lucky enough to meet Dennis, Aaron’s older cousin from Edinburgh, Scotland, and we immediately hit it off. Some people don’t so much talk with you as at you, whereas talking to others can be like dragging a stick through the mud, but for us it was the perfect balance. The art of conversation is dead, we agreed, and finding each other was like two Masonic brothers from different lodges meeting for the first time.
Pat later told me that, on arriving, he didn’t say hi to me for fear of interrupting us. Our faces were so intense, focused on each other, he said. Dennis and I exchanged contact info, and he offered me a place to stay if I ever went to Scotland. Normally, I’d brush off such an invitation as a glib pleasantry, if it weren’t for the fact that he repeated it five or six times over both nights. In return, I offered him a place to stay if he ever wanted to give Nana and Popa (whom he calls June and Vic) a break. It’s funny, I never knew their names until then.
I also had a good talk with Rob while Aaron and Chris were outside smoking cigars that night (which turned into the morning) before the wedding. We bonded over our love of Aaron, and I got to probe Rob, who’s deep enough for an entire entry I’ll be posting soon.
This is the Story of Aaron and Karen
Before I gave my speech, I showed this video as a way for everyone, but most importantly Aaron and Karen, to know how the groom’s side felt. Notice the keg-can of Heineken in Trolley’s shots.
I learned a lot about being an interviewer, about asking the right questions, about trying not to laugh at funny stories. You can hear in the way I ask Jay (yellow shirt), “In what way?”, that my cheeks are tightened in a big smile. I also realized that I shouldn’t finish other peoples thoughts, which is a bad habit of mine. The interviewer shouldn’t present any bias.
Everyone told me afterward that they were touched by how Aaron spoke from the heart. The interesting thing is that people were laughing at parts I didn’t expect them to laugh at. In my speech too. I don’t write to be funny; I can’t be a funny person why I try. It happens rather accidentally.
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The speech did go well. I like how people started saying, “Woo hoo!” and “Cheers to that!” for the toast. If you listen closely after I give my thanks, there’s one person who claps well before anyone else, and I’ll forever be wondering who it was and why they were clapping with such vigor.
Wedding Opportunities
The ceremony was short and sweet, though it was a little cold. The Prince Charlie jacket doesn’t breathe, so the groomsmen were warm for most of it. I felt bad for the bridesmaids though, who wore backless, sleeveless dresses.
I caught up with Nick and Alison, whom I hope to see for a few photo projects down in that area at some point during the summer (I wish I was able to bring my camera to the wedding though). I got to know Steph a little better, and you could tell from the way she talks that she really cares about Trolley, which was important for me to find out. Hanging out with Jay was a blast too; he’s a really fun, easy-going guy, and I can totally see why he’s such good friends with Aaron. Pat did some robotics for us to the Scottish dance music, and I had the opportunity to introduce him to Dennis, hoping that both conversationalists would hit it off.
We danced, we mingled, we ate, we laughed. Weddings always offer great opportunities for such things. What other chance would I have to wear something as fun as the Scottish regalia (although Dennis explained to me that Ontario and Canada have their own tartans, and that I’d have the right to wear one if I wanted).
The bachelor party went better than I could have ever planned. Aaron wanted a weekend where the groomsmen could bond with each other so initial plans were to head to Montreal, but I suggested to host it at my house, where I felt like I had the most control.
Friday night was drinking with everyone at the Honest Lawyer. We got the biggest table there, and for a couple hours it felt like we owned the bar with our large and rowdy group. There was much tomfoolery to which our lips are sealed, as is the custom for any bachelor party, the footage of which will forever be locked in the vault. There’s nothing wrong with a drink or three though.
I even moonwalked (or some reasonable facsimile thereof) around the perimeter of the bar, weaving between groups of people, put up by Pat for 10 points. He said the funniest thing was seeing everyone’s reaction. I was too busy making sure I didn’t bump into anyone to notice that people stopped what they were doing and turned their heads as I passed them. When I closed the circle the table cheered and I felt all eyes in the place on me. Something I normally avoid at all costs, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good.
It was also a meeting of the four bosses, the last time of which was almost a year ago during the birthday rounds. I was comforted knowing that Aaron was at my front, Trolley to his right, and Pat to mine at the table. The next meeting will be at the wedding itself this weekend. Exciting!
By Saturday we reduced to the core group for the rest of the tournament, which was groomsmen and MC. You know you’re old when conversation over breakfast is mainly about bacon, arts and crafts, and cooking shows. The pound of bacon challenge was worth 5 points, as evidenced by the plate dedicated to pork, which Aaron and Rob easily achieved.
Even though he didn’t show up until Saturday afternoon, I got to meet Jay, who was the only one out of Aaron’s crew that I hadn’t met. The rest of the weekend was spent game playing, Nerf warring, ultimate fighting in the backyard, and hanging out.
In the end, there just wasn’t enough time to do everything planned. I was also spreading myself thin between recording video, taking photos, and acting as organizer/host. Sometimes I wish I could be part of the action, but it’s more worth it to me to make sure the right angles, focus, compositions are taken. Still an absolute blast.
It was an entertaining night. A sit-where-you-please atmosphere, devoid of stiff shirts and long speeches. Rob even donned his baseball cap for the entire ceremony. I got to know Mark better too, in the car and at the table.
The only thing that marred the evening was Sarah proving herself to be an idiot, devoid of any social graces or conversation skills. At one point, she brilliantly remarked that she “loves Johnny Cash” when the DJ put on Love Me Tender. Another person I put on my list of people to avoid like they’re coming at you with a bottle of horse semen.
I tried to get as much bright, high-contrast photography as I could, playing around with both direct and bounced flash. I also got to try a different photo workflow, which involved separating the colour channels and pulling out bits for contrast. The 24-70mm is supposed to be the bread and butter of wedding photographers, and this makes perfect sense to me now as it stayed on my camera for most of the night.
As far as bachelor parties go, Rob’s was a low-key deal. Seven of us in all. Half were from out of town, so we drove to Kingston to meet up.
The first stop was Aaron’s dad’s house. Parked in his driveway was a 1980s Lincoln Continental Town Car, before they started to downsize the series. It’s a massive car, with what looks like a complete couch in the back. As the coupe, it wasn’t even the full-size model. This is the only car that pimps teal.
Most of the day was spent giving each other welts in speedball, which I learned is a testosterone fused version of paintball. All speed and all accuracy. I wasn’t used to a lack of conventional cover (in favour of inflatables), or the small playing area, but managed to survive without any body hits.
Of course, being his bachelor party weekend, we had to put Rob on his own team, though he didn’t quite find out until it happened. This follows the tradition of other fraternizing celebrations, such as birthday beats.
It was back to the hotel to get changed, and off to Rob’s favourite place to eat, which was a Chinese buffet. It also happened to be Chinese New Year, so they had an entire roast suckling pig, though no one else dared to try it until I assured them it was safe.
More time was spent back at the hotel, in the hot tub, playing poker poker, breaking electric heaters in the exercise room.
Before leaving the next morning, we went across the street to the conveniently placed Golden Griddle, an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet for the gluttonous masses. I’ve never been one to get their money’s worth out of buffets, but I’m sure that Rob and Aaron more than made up for my relatively small portion. I can’t imagine putting such lead into my stomach every weekend. Unlimited bacon and sausages should be reserved for bachelor parties, business contracts, and maybe the occasional bris.
Drinking was limited; Rob was still recovering from strep throat, as can be heard in the videos. More energy was spent making sure Sergio had a successful blind date; a testament to how much Rob takes care of his homies.
Christmas is for families, but New Year’s is for friends. I couldn’t decide between Pat and Jen’s or Aaron and Karen’s this year, so I went to both.
Pat and Jen had me over for dinner first. I met Sophia for the first time, which was a good way to put a face to the person who Jen talks about all the time. It was a great change to be hanging out with people who didn’t mind playing console and hand-held games at a New Year’s party. Usually I’m the geek who wants to play games, and most people are uninterested.
I headed to Aaron and Karen’s after a couple hours. They’re only a block away from each other, so it was an easy walk. It was the usual Trivial Pursuit (guys won), poker, and general rowdiness. A few people crashed so they could drink, and the party went into the next day with some early morning Wii.
Mel gave me an invitation card to their wedding in March, and Rob extended the annual Super Bowl party invitation. It was a nice gesture, because I don’t know Rob and Mel as much as I’d like. I think I’m given that respect by association with Aaron. I hope Rob knows that it goes both ways; a brother of Aaron’s is a brother of mine.
When I’m hosting a party, I can see Pat studying the other guests. It’s in his nature to be aware of his surroundings, and he always tells me that there are interesting characters. This time it was my turn to observe, and there were plenty of characters at both places.
I suggested that both couples combine parties for next year, but I’m not sure if the people would mix.
I also had a chance to try the Wii. Admittedly, the innovation impressed me. Gameplay can be fun for casual and seasoned gamers alike.
And people have the funniest faces when they’re swinging that controller around.
For Canada’s 139th, Aaron and Karen braved the rainy weather and hosted a small gathering for a barbecue. By the time I arrived, several hours early from helping Trolley in the morning, I was tired, moody, and smelling rather fresh, so I decided to leave by the time people were supposed to arrive in the afternoon. Fortunately, Pat and Jen showed up early too, bringing with them a deck of Dutch Blitz. It was a game I had never played before, but grew addicted to quickly. The fast-paced, and convivial nature of the game lightened my mood, and by the second round I was feeling jovial. There were other games too — bullet chess, Trivial Pursuit (90’s Edition, which the guys won for the first time ever), Soul Calibur 2 — all of which I partook through the rest of the evening.
I had such a good time that I ended up staying the night because I missed my last bus. In the morning, we slowly rose with coffee and greasy food, eventually playing some more Dutch Blitz before I had to leave.
It’s hard to remember a time when I was so at ease in a large group, or when I laughed so much. Maybe we’ve finally cut out the intolerable people, the ones who rub me the wrong way with their simple presence. Maybe, as a sign of my growing confidence, I’m getting more comfortable around other people.
To cover three birthdays (Pat’s, Aaron’s, and Karen’s respectively), we all met up at McEwen along the river. The merriment consisted of some light drinking, friendly poker playing, and rather serious photo taking.
They say that the ruder you are, the better a photographer it makes you. Since being rude goes against the very basis of my personality, getting candids of people with a large camera and flash becomes quite a mental challenge. Some people really don’t like to have their picture taken, and they signal this by blinking rapidly with bewilderment, combined with the furrowing of their brows in annoyance. This reminds me that I primarily bought a camera to have memories of my friends, who are all comfortable with my paparazzo tendencies. It certainly makes me appreciate the strangers or acquaintances who don’t mind.
It was also a happenstance meeting of the four bosses, although definitely not the private affair that it usually is.
Here I am, in a cabin in the middle of the woods, 160 km away for two short days and a night in Tremblent. Today, we drove the winding roads lined with pine trees and settled in. By tomorrow morning, the 10 beds and mattresses are going to be filled with 16 people, all-round exhausted, cramming in as much sleep as they can before the hills open.
In between, Aaron finds a Bubbles action figure that looks just like Karen. Phil is dealt a royal flush, which we’ll probably never see again in our lives, during the second game of poker. For this, we drink, and I’m asked to make a print of the photo for everyone present to sign.
I’m not here to ski, or snowboard, or party, I’m just here to observe. Nick gave me the use of his lenses, including a 200mm prime L, but it was the 15mm fish-eye Sigma that I grew to love. How strange it is to be recording my memories with someone else’s glass.
This weekend it feels like I’m running. I’m looking for something, but I don’t know what it is or where to find it.
Aaron and Karen’s annual New Years party was a fun time in a relaxing sense, much lower-key than last year, with fewer people and casual clothes. I don’t believe there was anyone who felt out-of-place, which meant that one could easily move from group to group without any feelings of intrusion. So that I didn’t have to worry about catching a bus home early, they lent me the use of their SUV for me to drive home.
I’m especially pleased with this set of photos. I think I was able to show the mood appropriately, without over-exposing the flash too much. My two favourite are with Sarah in her scarf and with Aaron handing the lowball to Rob. The former because of the pure chance that worked out in capturing the moment along with the wonderful texture of her scarf, and the latter because of how strong the two sets of hands look, like a firm handshake without touching.
A couple of shots (no pun intended) from Trolley’s birthday celebration, also marking my first forray into the digital SLR camera world. I had no idea how much was involved in photography until I started going fully manual (quite a change from my simple point-and-shoot Elph), but just trying to achieve what’s “technically” correct has made me appreciate both what the professionals go through and what the artists try to express.
Even before the wedding began, I had already unfairly decided that I wasn’t going to have a good time. Thank god I was wrong. My initial feeling was based on the knowledge that certain agitating people were going to be there — a very tangible reminder of why we moved under cover of darkness for the last Bancroft farm excursion — but there were enough normal people to dilute any creepiness.
The ceremony was short and sweet. The food was the best I’ve had in weeks, although my gradual recovery from viral gastroenteritis meant that I could only have half of the portions served. The company at the dinner table was friendly and open enough to address everyone sitting (Tolstoy wrote well about such a difficulty in Anna Karenina when he describes “a small table with persons present, like the steward and the architect, belonging to a completely different world, struggling not to be overawed by an elegance to which they were unaccustomed, and unable to sustain a large share in the general conversation”). Aside from an idiotic analogy about asparagus, the speeches were generally well-written; not too trite, and all the more poignant from the emotion with which they were spoken.
Aaron was there as my wingman, ensuring a good time. Jenn was there as my date, making the guys jealous. I even saw Christine, although we never had a chance to talk. Apparently, I missed every time she waved at us, so she may have thought that I was ignoring or avoiding her, which may be why she flicked my ear as she was walking by my table. I still feel bad enough about missing her last birthday party.
Until dinner there was an open bar, with Corona and even Guinness on tap, as well as a strawberry margarita machine that could make them like smoothies. After dinner was the dancing, and by the time the we were through a dozen or so songs, it was already late, so we headed home.
