No better place for a bachelor party than in the market, where people see you in a giant banana costume and assume you’re either getting married or lost a bet.
Before going out drinking, they went paintballing, though this still didn’t preclude the groom-to-be from having to wear the bright yellow costume in the field.
One of several bachelorette parties we ran into that night.
I’ve been itching to play around with some new footage lately cause I love editing and it’s been a while since I had a good story to tell, so when Tiana invited me to Bobby’s second birthday party, I couldn’t resist. I also recently purchased some new gear in preparation of a wedding I’ve been hired to film in the Fall (with a second one potentially lined up), and I’ve been looking for an opportunity to field-test a new bag, shoulder strap, and monopod.
I tend to get really shy at Tiana’s parties cause I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t know anyone else there, but she does a good job of making sure I’m never left alone for too long and included in most conversations. She’s also the only other person I know to actually design custom invitations. This time, however, she was sporting a perky new haircut, and no longer a vegetarian (for now). Such is the power of St. Hubert.
So out of the 26 people I invited to the third Cranium Party, 9 said they couldn’t make it, 13 said they’d come, and 4 didn’t RSVP at all.
Out of the 13 people who said they’d come, only 3 of them showed up, and one of those was Jessica, who was sort of co-hosting this one with me, so fuck yeah she was there1.
That means that including me, we had four people, which is the bare minimum to play Cranium.
To say I was disappointed is an understatement. I spent a great deal of time and energy making the invitations, and cleaning the house so my guests could be comfortable. Not to mention all the food I bought, most of which went bad because there weren’t enough people to eat it (and especially when the guests who do show up also bring plenty of snacks).
We did end up playing a good game, but it was entirely not worth all the preparation.
Jessica offered to host the next one at her place — very nice of her because that really means she’s offering to shoulder all the responsibilities — but I feel like Cranium parties are my thing. An invitation is not only an invitation to play, it’s an invitation into my social circle. The guest list is tightly controlled; anyone on it is either a very close friend, or someone I can tell has the potential to be. I want to have all the responsibility, because it’s one of the ways I can show these people they’re important to me.
At the same time, some people are already asking about the next one2, which I find strange because the impression I get is that it’s a low priority, never something people put in their schedule and plan around. I’m pretty sure most only go if nothing else comes up on that day.
That’s fine by me — not everyone loves doing bad impressions of Christopher Walken as much as I do — but when people say they’re going to be there and don’t show up, it’s a complete devaluation of my efforts. I’m seriously questioning if I’m going to host another Cranium party any time soon. If I do, the next invite list will undoubtedly be much shorter.
At the very least, the day was salvaged with some bubble tea, Chinese food, and quality time with Jessica.
For Audra’s birthday we headed to the Savana Cafe, with some chocolate ice cream cake at the William’s residence after leaving the very rude service we were given.
I also got to meet Jesse’s dad, Jim. He reminds me very much of his son in terms of their intellect and interests, and I found it quite novel to talk to an older version of Jesse with a soft voice and grey facial hair.
Across the table is Jesse, Caitlyn, Ariel, Ira, and Jairus. Jesse’s dad to my right.
The second Cranium Party went exceedingly well, even though not a single one of my core friends was there. In fact, aside from Jess, it was an entirely different group from last time, and none of the four groups of people knew each other, but that didn’t stop it from being an awesome party and everyone got along famously. Through the night, I heard people asking each other, “And how do you know Jeff?”
People brought all sorts of snacks, but more importantly, they also helped me eat them. Of note was Audra bringing a tub of green tea and honey vanilla Häagen-Dazs ice cream, which I had never even heard of before.
To make it interesting, I told everyone that the losing team would have to perform a talent. Some came prepared, others came with the attitude that they wouldn’t lose.
Audra’s talent is speech writing, but since she couldn’t perform that, she did a rendition of a song she wrote with Jesse three years ago about their cat Zoey. And the song wasn’t just a short jingle, it was a full piece with proper song structure and clever rhymes. If only I wasn’t laughing so hard that I kept shaking the camera.
Sergei didn’t have a talent prepared, but since I knew that he used to study martial arts, I asked him if he could demonstrate what he knew. He suggested that he could blow out a candle with a punch, and no one was left unmoved.
Shawn brought his beautifully carved didgeridoo to play as his talent. Even though he didn’t lose, people were still intrigued enough that they wanted to try it. And, of course, Jesse added his own flavour at the end.
I was invited to a night of black magic (as well as some tasty antipasto), and I didn’t know what to expect. Part of the instructions were to bring a large piece of construction paper, a white pencil crayon, and a piece of paper with something written on it that I want to be rid of in my life. Turns out the construction paper was to make our hats and chains, and the pencil crayon was to fashion said hats and chains with our power symbols (something with meaning to each person). I was also given a phrase to memorize and incant during the ceremony.
There were glow sticks, good food1, and great people. I won’t go into details about the ritual, for revealing too much, as I understand it, is akin to telling people your birthday wish. Needless to say, I hope to wake up to some growth down south (aka expansion to drilling operations in the wildlife preserve) one of these days, if you catch my drift.
I probably looked like this the whole weekend, cause it was non-stop awesomeness.
Last week, Aaron asked me if I wanted to go to The Japanese Village. I thought it was just to hang out, since we hadn’t had a guy’s night in a while, so I didn’t clue in that it was for my birthday until the day of. Aaron told me I could order anything I want, as it was his treat, but I ordered the only thing I ever get when I’m there; the filet mignon cooked medium rare, which I think is the best in the city. It was good to hang out with him and Trolley again.
And, of course, silliness is always present with these guys around.
John’s been working two straight months, without a weekend off. The last time was when he came to Ottawa to visit. Between all the activities, we only had enough time to watch one movie — American Graffiti — and between the two of us, we could sing every song that came from this film based in the 60s (me covering The Platters, him covering everything else).
I usually only get to see him once a year, so twice in two months was a special treat.
I’d love to do games nights on a regular basis, but people aren’t available on the same days, so I used my birthday as an excuse to get as many people as possible together for a giant Cranium party. I told them that instead of giving me a present, they should just come to the party. It worked, and we had enough for four teams of three. Some people also brought snacks, like honey mustard pretzels, carrot cupcakes, and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
It was the highlight of the weekend.
On Friday, my dad called me to wish me a happy birthday, and told me he was in town for 10 days. We made plans to have dim sum. John came too, which is always interesting to see his reactions to what food is as the token white guy. I had a phoenix talons for the first time1, because I was feeling adventurous, and I have to say that they weren’t bad, but I didn’t care for them either. They’re too hard to eat, and the sauce wasn’t to my taste. It was strange to see both John and my dad at the same place, and in Ottawa instead of Toronto.
I told my dad he could probably sit and observe one of my Tai Chi classes, so he could see what I do, but he wasn’t interested, and I’ll admit that the indifference hurt a bit. Afterward, I asked John what he thought as a 3rd party observer, and he told me I had a good relationship with my dad. I’ll take his word for it.
I needed this weekend so much. To recharge. To stop thinking about things. To get completely wasted. It felt like it was my birthday the whole weekend, and I wondered what I did to deserve it all.
Hard to believe that it’s been a year since I’ve seen Tiana. The last time I saw her was when we did her pregnant photo shoot, and I’d never met Bobby.
A chance to try new recipes and share them with others. Also, a chance to learn some dance moves so you may not feel so out-of-place the next time you’re at a Jewish wedding. I wish I had started taking pictures sooner instead of getting distracted by all the food, because there was so much of it. We sat around and ate and conversed until the sun went down, then ate some more.
I love meeting interesting people. People with something to say (in beautiful accents), and new perspectives to offer. People who are as curious about you, as you them.
For Tom’s birthday, we gathered at Tim’s for grilled chicken breasts, pork chops, roast beef, and some pleasant conversation. I always find it interesting that the topics we discuss are so different from the ones at parties. Subjects tend to be more intellectual, whereas conversations at Pat’s house, let’s say, are much more jovial and carefree.
Frédéric, Misun, and the boys are moving to France to explore a new business venture. To say goodbye to everyone, they rented out a karaoke bar and had a party. The night was a cacophony of sound, for the kids were given free reign of the dance floor and ran around in circles, while the adults took turns singing and eating.
This is my first “5x5”; a video of five vignettes at five seconds each. It’s a helpful guideline for putting together footage that doesn’t necessarily have a consistent theme. It’s also very restrictive, as five seconds is barely enough to see what’s going on in a particular clip, and that means you really have to find the essence of action. I generally don’t make 5x5s because I always have a story to tell, but in this case, it’s fun just to see how people sing. This is very different from the Chinese karaoke parties I was witness to as a kid, where the adults take their singing very seriously, so everyone is very quiet, attentive, and quite rehearsed.
The one who stole the show was Akio, who had heard Frédéric, Misun starting a duet of Ne Me Quitte Pas, took the microphone from Misun, and started repeating the line he had just learned.
I told Frédéric, “It’s amazing that you’re not nervous up there”, and he told me, “I just said to myself that I want to have fun, and it wouldn’t be fun if I didn’t sing, so I wasn’t nervous.” I wish I could do that.
Tim is, as he puts it, cut from the same cloth as his uncle, insofar as they both enjoy entertaining. They also live in a four-storey house, which is perfect for such a thing.
So every Sunday, people come together for a casual pot luck brunch, where guests are invited to bring food, the idea being that it’s be easier to bring a dish somewhere and share with everyone than sit at home and make breakfast for yourself. Last time, I got to try fancy smoked bacon, and a pancake-batter-cooked-in-bacon-grease experiment.
At this point, enough people know about it that no one has to mention ahead of time whether they’ll be coming, but there’s enough food for all.
Tim described this pretty well in a recent e-mail:
Dear Everyone,
I’m fascinated by coordination problems.
Coordination problems are situations where all the actors involved are more or less on the same side, but there is imperfect information. Everyone wants the same general outcome but isn’t sure how everyone else is going to get at it.
Driving is a solved coordination problem. No one wants an accident so we all want to drive on the same side of the road, but there is nothing special about choosing the left or the right side. How do people pick?
In 1958, Thomas Schelling ran this experiment on a group of university students in Connecticut: “Imagine that you are to meet someone in New York City at noon, but you don’t know where and you can’t get in touch with them in advance. Where do you go?”
Without consulting one another, the majority of them picked the same location. I wonder if you can guess what it was (where would you go?).
Every week, we solve and re-solve a coordination problem with brunch. Everyone wants a good and varied brunch spread. Different people come every week and no one RSVPs, so you can never be sure what other people will bring. We don’t consult in advance, I don’t assign dishes or types of dishes. The only information we have is what was at brunch the previous week and my written suggestion about fruits, which is mercifully ignored by most of you.
Yet every week brunch has a wide range of delicious foods. Isn’t that amazing?
I think it’s amazing.
Hope to see you on Sunday,
Tim
If I was participating in Schelling’s experiment, I would have chosen to meet at the clock in Grand Central Station; it’s always stood out to me because of the way it was prominently featured in the fantasy waltz sequence done by Terry Gilliam in The Fisher King. I had no idea that this was also the information booth, and it’s this place exactly that most students chose.
And it goes with the people at brunch as well. When one person eats, another will get up to cook. When everyone is done eating, the dishes are all put away, the pans are all cleaned. With the wisdom of crowds, nothing needs to be said.
I think it’s amazing too.
A camera to mask my shyness, a lens to hide behind.
At Audra and Jesse’s I felt like I was back in university. Meeting people, learning names, throwing in for some pizza. Except this time, I wasn’t being dragged, kicking and screaming to the party. Maybe I was just feeling social, because I hadn’t seen my own friends in so long.
I learned that playing Punch Out on the Wii is as natural to you as it was back when you were in your room back in elementary school, crying because you were no one’s best friend. That watching Air Guitar Nation — when it’s hard to tell how seriously the contestants take themselves — is much more enjoyable with sarcastic comments applied liberally from the audience.
I want to know these people.
I want to find out what drives them. I want to know why they create, why they’ve chosen their mediums. Why they hang out together. Why they studied what they studied. Why they have the jobs they do.
They’re well-read, educated, opinionated, cosmopolitan. I felt somewhat out of place. Topics of conversation weren’t even close to my interests. Concerts aren’t my scene. Politics confuse me. Things are happening to other friends I’ve never met. But when there’s this much to learn, listening is just as good as taking part.
It was past midnight by the time I got home, but I had hard time falling asleep. My brain was buzzing, trying to take in everything I had just experienced.
