I have quite a few errands to run. I need to get my cell phone fixed, return my plane tickets by registered mail, and refund my train tickets. I also have to get working on a bunch of my projects, which are due within the next two months and haven’t been started yet. I need some order.

Wheaties has invited me to go camping during the May 2-4 weekend. I am definitely going to try to be there, but I might actually be in Hong Kong at the time.

Dolly has been jumping up on her scratching post a lot lately. I had it in my room before, next to my desk so that she could mark her scent in a spot that I’m usually at, but I moved it out because it looked very awkward. I moved the post back into my room near my door, and whenever I walk by, she’ll jump on the post as if she has something to whisper in my ear. I’m tempted to buy her a huge scratching post, but I don’t think that I should be spending $450 on a cat toy until I get a permanent job. I did buy a rolling ball with stuffed weasel attached for her to play with today, but I think the ball is too big for her. She doesn’t seem to like to chase the weasel around, just sit and watch it go. I figured for $10, I couldn’t go wrong.

The scene in Being John Malkovich, where Craig Schwartz kisses Elijah on the head, spoke to me the other day. I wish it didn’t.

I’ll be hanging out with Aaron, Wheaties, and Trolley tomorrow, before we go out for Mel’s birthday party. We might do a bit of pre-drinking, but we’re not sure how much yet, since Wheaties is driving. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to show them a few Sealab episodes, which I’m pretty sure they’ll enjoy.

I’m fucking exhausted. I haven’t been this tired since my trip to Tremblant, possibly. I feel drugged. I almost had a 10 hour day, and I slept horribly last night. I decided to attempt an entry at five in the morning, but I didn’t get very far. I knew that if I didn’t write tonight, I wouldn’t sleep very well again.

I find so much reason to write nowadays. I seem to be getting affected by so much. All my emotion is coming back to me like the opening of a vacuum.

Working on my graphics assignment has made me realize how large the project is. I have most of the camera movements figured out, so that I can enter co-ordinates into an array and the camera will move between them. I can get the other motions done, like camera angle and center of focus relatively easily. I just need to figure out a way to animate four arm objects at once, keeping track of all the motions. I’ll have about two days to work on it, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get it done.

An interesting mathematical idea I’ve learned more about is the Game of Life. I’ve never really found math phenomena fascinating, but the Game of Life offers an infinite number of possibilites in creating something amazing. With a simple drag of the mouse, one can see if a group of cells will be able to survive, reach stasis, or die off, based on Conway’s rules. I could spend hours trying out new patterns, watching the cells dance in tiny flourishes of logic.

I got all three of my mid-terms back, and I was able to pass two out of three. However, the two I managed to pass are still within five marks of failing. I find that this term is the ultimate test of my ability to pull things off. It’s the term with the most dire consequences if I fail, and the term that requires the most of my galvanizing strength.

I’ve asked Pat to attend my graduation. He’s the person who’s helped me out the most in the last four years, no matter what my problem was. Out of all the people I know, I think that he would be the proudest.

Tonight was another scary movie night. Nick, Aaron, and Pita came over. This time it was The Shining. I almost watched it one time, but I was in the company of people who were mocking other people, so I opted to fall asleep instead. Although I didn’t walk away from this movie with as much fear as Ringu, it was able to actually send chills up my spine and down my arms. I’ve never experienced any sort of chills relating to horror before, possibly because I usually don’t like the genre. I was…amazed at what Kubrick did. The angles and score seemed to be the most distinguishing feature. My favorite scene is when the wife is exhaustedly trying to open the freezer door, jamming the handle over and over, while the camera is set near the door, and the audience can see the sweat in her hair, the fatigue in her face, the franticness of the situation.

I was exhausted yesterday. I worked almost all day on my graphics project, and Aaron came over to work on his Scheme assignment. I was able to talk to him for a few hours before starting the work. We caught Old School at the Coliseum near his place, but it was still a thirty minute walk in one direction. The movie was too predictable, but had some very well done scenes, such as Will Ferrell getting shot in the neck with a tranq dart. I thought some parts were almost insulting though, like a completely gratuitous camera shot of Elisha Cuthbert’s ass while she was laying on a bed. It’s not that I don’t find her behind to be a thing of beauty, it’s that it feels like the producers are adding shit like that in just to get more people in the audience. I guess it’s been happening for a while now; ever since Shannon Elizabeth bared her twins in American Pie, teen movies have been becoming more and more sleazy. I still enjoyed Old School though, and generally laughed my ass off.

Watching Old School allowed me to discover a decent song called Dust in the Wind by Kansas. I’ve also been downloading a lot of Canadian singer Holly Cole, who has a beautifully expressive, olive oil voice. I enjoy Bagdad Café in particular. I found two versions of the song, one live and one studio, which are good but with their own unique flaws. I prefer the live version because it has a simple piano and bass, instead of synth sounds in the studio version, but at one point she becomes obnoxiously loud, as if she was oversinging the notes, the way a trumpet would sound if the trumpeter was blaring. It makes her voice seem almost masculine, which is a big turn-off. The way she mixes her vibrato with her flaring is very seductive though. In the studio version, however, she seems to start off one line a little flat, before pushing her diaphragm to hit a note without going falsetto. It surprized me, since studio songs tend to be a little too perfect.

I finally put up my poster of Dominique Swain. Aaron helped me decide on the linen closet door, since the walls in my room are so big they dwarf my modestly sized poster. I haven’t put it up since second year because it didn’t seem to fit into the simpleness of my room.

I’m not especially happy with yesterdays entry, but I desperately felt like I had to get something down. It’s a little too trite for me to be satisfied.

I bought a bag of frozen carrots and pearl onions to try out the last time I went grocery shopping, since I’ve been trying to eat more vegetables. I found out today that I really don’t like pearl onions. They taste like what I imagine an onion would taste like after being soaked in water overnight. I tried to have the carrots only, but the bag is supposed to be a mélange of the two, and the taste of the onions ends up seeping into the taste of the carrots. I really enjoy having a bunch of onion slices sautéed before adding in a pork chop or whatnot to the frying pan, but pearl onions seem to be a different breed of onion.

This week has been such an emotional roller coaster. I can’t describe the odd moods I’ve been in, the twists and turns my mind has been going in. I feel lost.

I have three mid-terms tomorrow, one of which I feel confident about. I tried desperately to study during the three days I had off, and only one of them (today) had any progress whatsoever. I think it’s just my study environment, combined with my current emotional fluctuations. I tried to study in the SITE building today, watched the sun go from east to west, and felt my melatonin levels drop. I feel burned out already. I definitely need this reading week.

Speaking of which, I most likely won’t be going home for the week. I’ll probably try to hang out with Trolley or Thom. I don’t have time to change the dates on my train tickets, or even get a new ISIC. I’m not even sure if I’m elligible, since I’m a part-time student when not considering my honours project as a course.

My progress through Moby Dick has been non-existent lately.

I’ll have to catch the Married with Children reunion special on Sunday. I always found the show to be amusing when I was a kid, though I never laughed out loud as I would if watching a funny show nowadays, like Family Guy. I think I was just mystified by the openness with which the sexuality was dealt with, something that I never grew up around. I’m sure the special will remind me of the summers I spent at home long ago, something I’d rather remember for my innocence than my ignorance.

I’m downloading Full Metal Jacket. I still can’t get over how brilliant the entire film was, possibly the best display of genius on film I’ve seen so far. I still haven’t decided whether I should buy it though, since it’s not quite a movie I can relate to, which is generally the criteria I use to build my collection.

I ended up watching Ringu with Aaron, Nick, Pita, and Dina. I will be sleeping in my closet for the remainder of the week. I think that the others have gotten over it much faster than I will.

I managed to finish as much of my cryptography assignment as possible on Friday. It pisses me off that we’re given such ridiculously hard problems to solve. I did a half-assed job on it, because I knew that there was almost no way I would be able to get a good mark. It ended up being two pages, handwritten. Pat’s was eight pages typed. Perhaps he’ll get 400% the mark I will.

I have a mid-term for every one of my courses on Valentine’s day.

I spoke with John today and he might not be coming up for reading week, which means that I might be going down instead. He’s had some very interesting poltics going at his office in the last week, causing him to be extremely busy. It’s always fascinating to hear how much he knows about the internecine workings of electoral politics. Almost something written by Golding.

I bought Dolores some Whiskas Temptations yesterday. They’re extremely small treats, so they don’t seem to take, even for a kitten, when she eats then with two bites.

I managed to get a copy of Simcity 4, which is amazing. I prefer not to play it for the time being, since Maxis did a sloppy job with ATI card compatability, and everything runs at a snail’s pace. I also got my hands on the Doom III alpha, which looks fucking amazing. The in game graphics can be mistaken for rendered videos, which is why my framerate drops to about 2 fps when something attacks me.

Nick introduced me to Ali G, and I’ve been trying to download his movies ever since. Ali G presents a sort of ignorant humour, being a wigga, that just makes me burst out laughing.

I need to remember to look up some Immanuel Kant and Ayn Rand, that Jeff told me about. All of the material seems to be interesting, and it looks as though I agree with much on both sides.