My fish is bulimic. He always stays at the bottom of his bowl. When I drop food pellets in the water, he swims towards the ripples, nibbles on one, then spits it back out. Then he slowly floats to the bottom of the bowl again, resting his fins flat on the pebbles.

Along with the first spider of the season (which I killed tonight), spring has brought hope. For some reason, I think it’s going to be a good summer. I can’t even explain why. Maybe I miss the heat, or I had good memories of last summer, or this is happening again¹. I’ve been listening to the songs I discovered last summer in anticipation. Like this one, by Jenny Owen Youngs:

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Holy crap. Listening to this song now is…fucked. I always thought it was a good song, but never really related to the lyrics. Until now.

Due to the wintery economic climate², they’ve limited my hours at work. So much for keeping the brain busy; it appears that I’m running out of places to hide³. While this came at a time when I really needed the money, I’m glad to have more free time now. It seems like every day I’m rushing to do this or that, with barely a chance to breathe, living to work, instead of working to live. I’m wondering if I can just stop, decide to live with some debt, and just relax.

This was the first night I had to myself, and it was only because other plans fell through. The only chance I had to relax was spending an hour customizing the icons on my new Mac Mini. Aside from a weeknight here and there to catch up with John over some Warcraft 3, I haven’t actually sat down to play a game in a long time. I’m hoping that at some point, I’ll be able to slow down and enjoy things again.

Although I’m not sure if I want that right now.

1. Yes, I just referenced an entry I wrote six years ago. I tend to have a photographic memory for things I’ve written. [↑]
2. This term is stolen from an awesome movie. High five and a cookie if you got the reference. [↑]
3. This is totally a line from the Jenny Owen Youngs song too. YOU LIKE THAT. SHIT IS SO CASH. [↑]

I thought I knew what to expect financially in owning a home. I was ready for mortgage payments, lawyers fees, gas bills, title insurance, land transfer tax (which is a separate payment from the name change fee), and any other random thing that may cost me money.

What I wasn’t ready for was the rapacious urge to purchase things. Things that cover windows, things that illuminate the corners of rooms. Things that go in houses, things that look nice. Things to play, things that organize other things.

So I spent some money. Got the living/dining room and two bedrooms professionally painted. Bought a 53″ Widescreen HDTV Projection TV. Of course, I needed a progressive scan DVD player to go with it (as well as composite cables for that and the Gamecube, which cost more than the DVD player itself). I even bought four games – Paper Mario, Viewtiful Joe 2, Timesplitters: Future Perfect, and Pikmin 2 — so that I could take advantage of widescreen and progressive scan support. There were also a few costly trips to Ikea, Homesense, Home Depot for things like tables, bowls, king sized pillows, and Egyptian cotton pillowcases.

I’m in debt for the first (and hopefully last) time in my life. I was up to seven grand at one point, but the smaller part of it (all on credit cards) was paid-off with the help of my last paycheque, and the larger half happens to be interest-free. I have to mention, though, that a significant portion of what’s left has been reduced, to the generosity of my parents. $2000 of it was towards a set of custom-sized mirrored closet doors to be installed in my room and in the coat closet, and they decided to pay for them as a housewarming gift. Pat also got me a barbecue that fits perfectly on my back patio, along with cover, cooking utensils, and wire-string brush.

My goal is to pay off the debt as soon as I can, and start putting 10% of my pay into a high-interest savings account. I’d also like to save 2% of my annual salary for house repairs and upkeep, while looking into higher RRSP contributions and possibly an extra mortgage payment by the end of the year.

This’ll be hard, however, because I’m itching for a new computer. I admit that I couldn’t help but take advantage of a great deal on Dell’s 19″ viewable flat panel monitors, so I bought two. Unfortunately, with a laptop, I can only use one for the time being. I’ve been looking at the new P4 Extreme Edition processors, which are dual core with hyper-threading on each that can simulate four processors. I’m trying to wait until the price drops a bit, seeing as how one of these costs as much as an entire new system. Normally I wouldn’t even consider spending so much on a CPU, but I can easily justify it with all the video encoding and photo manipulation I’ve been doing lately. I’ll probably be able to afford one by the time they become reasonably priced.

So this is where I live now: an attached condominium townhouse. My unit is second from the right, and goes underground. The white windows facing out on the main floor are part of the breakfast nook. There are still boxes everywhere though, and it’ll take at least half a month to get everything cleared out.

It feels good to wake up in my own house, and as such, I now have to fulfill all the promises I made to myself on the satisfaction of such a condition.

• I promise to floss every day.
• I promise to vacuum more often than I did before (how non-committal of me).
• I promise to smoke less weed.
• I promise to stop pouring cooking grease down the drain.
• I promise to film Dolly running her fat ass up the stairs (she never experienced stairs until I moved).
• I promise to walk more often than I ride the bus.
• I promise to get my finances in order, which involves entering all my incomes and expenses into Quicken XG then setting up (virtual) savings accounts for retirement/emergency/pleasure spending.
• I promise to keep my room spotless.
• I promise to read more than I watch movies.