It’s funny…I always think of the stereotypical, recently divorced husband, and think to myself “I’ll never end up like that”. I’ll never “go back” to living on canned food, messy rooms, or general unkemptness if I ever split up with a long-term girlfriend or wife. So I try to live my life the same if I’m in a relationship or not, and not depend on someone else to do things for me, by being healthy and clean when I’m not going out with someone.

Then I realize that there are already things that Loo does for me that I wouldn’t do myself. I don’t have the patience to make my bed, but she can’t stand to sleep in wrinkled sheets, so she makes the bed every day. She buys fresh vegetables, because I always purchase the easy-to-cook frozen ones. Can I go back to living without little sweet peppers packed with my lunch, or without someone to brush the cat hair from my clothes as I get dressed for work? How much of ourselves do we knowingly or willingly give away, when we accept the help of others?

It’s been a long, exhausting, uncomfortable-in-clothes, hard-to-focus day. I got a lot done though, so at least I feel satisfied. I can finally collapse, for the first time, on my new futon, duvet, and down pillow, with my blue-green Aduki in my hand and Loo by my side.

Loo learned to drive in Toronto. She’s probably the most aggressive driver I’ve ever met, surpassing the truckers in Hong Kong, although I’ve seen much more aggressive drivers in New York. She’s not as safe as John, but she’s not as crazy as Darren. Either way, the trip is interesting.

This is her driving, calm, collected.

This is me riding, excited, shitting myself.