Spring offi­cially begins when I can leave the win­dows in my house open all day. This only lasts about a week though, and is also around the time I have to remem­ber to turn the stereo down at red lights and res­i­den­tial areas, a small price to pay for the sim­ple plea­sure of wak­ing up with a breeze on my face.

It’s been more than a year since I’ve been on a sched­ule. Even the num­ber of meals I have in a day has started to vary. Goals and dead­lines are what help me keep pace. I know this can’t last for­ever, so I’m tak­ing advan­tage of the time to be free and explore and estab­lish the bonds I’ll need for the next stage of my life.

cherry tomato cheers

 

The strug­gle now is about bal­ance, mostly between nour­ish­ing myself and my rela­tion­ships, as there’s rarely enough time for both lately. Thankfully, spring is teach­ing me patience too. I’ve stopped try­ing to con­trol every­thing, and I’m let­ting go of the ten­dency to want things be to be dif­fer­ent from how they are right now.

The old me would have been scared to so unre­servedly place myself in the hands fate. Now I know I’ll be okay if I can find hap­pi­ness in how­ever things are at any moment.