An attractive woman got on my elevator yesterday, which surprised me, considering the number of students on my floor, let alone my building. I’m not sure what she was doing there, wearing her nice gray suit and checking her mail. I realize that I’m becoming more and more attracted to much older women, while becoming less and less attracted to girls my age, or even girls 10 years within my age. They all seem to be so…childish. It’s something that’s almost repulsive to me.

Childishness seems to be so superficial to me. And yet it’s something that’s so hard to define. I suppose that it’s childish thinking that really gets to me. Even if one acts as a child, one can still be defined as an adult through a mature mindset. After all, a man who creates research models with Lego should be seen as an adult with ideas, not someone with a childish hobby.

It’s these older women who seem to have a wisdom that I admire. Perhaps it’s their mindset, which I feel like I can relate to lately. Perhaps I just don’t really know enough about them to find their faults and their weaknesses.

Or perhaps I’m just growing up.

This one hurts.

God, I’m tired. I spent the entire day running errands. I took my kitten to the vet, which was a fairly painful experience. A bitchy, though red-headed, secretary “served” me. The appointments were an hour behind schedule. I decided to hold off on a confirmation of the name until I felt comfortable with it, which I currently do not. I’m fucking tired.

There’s something about a girl with long, slender, delicate fingers. They seem to speak of an intelligence not expressed in any other way. They way they move, the way they touch, the way they look. Sometimes dexterity is so simply an attractive feature that one misses it, while being drawn to other, more opulent features.