Went to Sandbanks on the weekend. The weather was good, but danced from one extreme to the other along the course of the day. It was Trolley, Tomacini, Kate, Adam, and Eric on one site, Aaron, Karen, Nick, Alison, and me on another about 20 paces away. It was quite a different crew from the one I’m used to, but definitely the one I was most comfortable around. These are the people who never ask for money, who talk to you like you’re family, whom you can depend on to find some orange juice if you’re having a bad trip. We only got in trouble one night, but we were admittedly loud. Our attempts to thwart such problems by introducing ourselves to neighbouring campsites proved fruitless, as we were informed that the noise we were producing was being heard in a larger radius than expected. I took up position as the token Asian guy (keepin it cool) and Adam resumed his usual role as the token homosexual (keepin it fresh). The weekend went by quickly.

Aside from steak, the best part of camping is the campfire. When the deciduous trees flicker orange and the stars normally hidden by the city light show themselves against the navy blue sky. There’s something about the heat and the atmosphere that puts the mind at ease. Nobody cares if one speaks too much or too little, puts on some headphones and listens to music, intoxicates, or pulls out a book and reads. It’s where everyone can do their own thing, together.

Sandbanks has an amazing beach with large sand dunes, which makes it one of the most popular campgrounds, as well as one of the hardest to reserve a site on (Trolley and I had this weekend booked since January). The sand is extremely soft and smooth, and the beach ended up being the only refuge for a loud group, especially at night. It’s also where Adam was paid to market Gatorade to the homosexual population (and the funny thing is, Adam did his absolute best not to look gay in the photograph, but succeeds only in the doing the exact opposite.) The caption for the magazines would be, “ALL I DID WAS DRINK THIS GATORADE AND HOT GUYS STARTED LICKING STUFF OFF MY LEGS!”.

Aaron made his contribution to the Ministry of Silly Walks.

At one point, Aaron and I had to steal some firewood from the other site. We decide to give them some flowers in return as a joke. Aaron just happened to pass by a bunch of daisies, and plucked them from the stem as we were leaving our area. Unfortunately, the entire plant became unrooted with almost no effort, from the flowers to the roots. After a quick twig-splint used to fix a mangled stem, we planted the daisies in the middle of the other campsite. They stood out considerably, since they were over four feet in height, with nothing else around but gravel and dirt. In return, Adam planted a little vodka garden outside our tents.

I don’t know why I didn’t figure this out before, but I guess the good thing is that I know better now. Maybe it was all too simple to see.

Friendship is all or nothing. Friends are the all, the ones I’d give my life for, the ones that I unconditionally accept. Non-friends are the nothing, the ones I couldn’t care less about. The ones that don’t fit in either category, due to insufficient information to make such a decision, are acquaintances (and some remain acquaintances forever).

Unconditional acceptance is the toughest part of friendship, because it’s the biggest commitment. It’s the biggest reason that I consider such few people to be my friends. It’s so easy to walk away when people change, when people grow apart. It’s not so easy to accept and understand, especially for someone as selfish and with as little tolerance as me. A friend is a friend for life.

I love you, Aaron.

I love you, Darren.

I love you, John.

I love you, Pat.

On Saturday we ended up at the Highlander Pub, apparently the only place in the city to get good haggis, as a belated birthday celebration for Aaron. We convinced the manager, a black man in a kilt with a brow bar, to give us three tables. We took part in the homeland toast, in which the waitresses hand out free shots of scotch every day at nine and everyone drinks to the ring of a bell.

Trolley, Nick, and Aaron participated in some speed drinking competitions. None of us are heavy drinkers; rather, we’re on the heavy side of casual drinkers, so being able to down a mug as quickly as this was worthy of a OMGDIDYOUSEETHATWHERESMYPROPS?!?

From one of my inside sources, I found out that the hiring freeze at the old government job might be on hiatus and they’re looking to fill some CS-2 positions. Aaron and I contacted our old employers to get together for some lunch tomorrow, and they ended up making reservations for 14 at the Mayflower. Aaron and I both know that this could be an important lunch, so we’ll be putting on the preppy clothes. We actually had to discuss what we’d be wearing, since we dress so similarly.

I told Aaron a few months ago that I held his morals and attitudes towards relationships as a personal goal. Knowing him for a while and being through a few odd relationships issues with him has made me realize that he has a very healthy mindset. I’m not saying that there are bad or wrong ways of viewing relationships, I simply found that his ideas fit with my overall life goals very well. Even though I haven’t always stuck to these lofty standards in my own relationship experience, I still try to maintain this set of ideals.

I know a few people whose main goal in life is to get married. I questioned them about why they have this goal, and they would tell me that they simply don’t know. I’ve been through all types of relationship mindsets before, all fairly different, all from different manifestations of my personality. There were phases such as “I want to be in a relationship”, “I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship”, “I’m unsatisfied with this relationship”, “I’ve given up on relationships”, “I’ll be in this relationship for the rest of my life” (hahaha), “I don’t want to be in a relationship”, and it goes on and on.

Right now I’m not even sure what I want. I think a relationship would be great but unnecessary. I’ve stopped being dependent on someone to complete me, stopped looking at life as a deadline, and have reconsidered almost everything about what I want.

Being able to do so has made me think much more clearly and act with more conviction.