I wasn’t able to accomplish any form of work today, and even though I feel completely exhausted, I have nothing to show for it. I did manage to get my graphics proposal approved, however, which will be to implement a 3D Game of Life in OpenGL.

I went to Iain’s place yesterday, since Jeff had to cancel on me due to sickness, and we watched Rushmore. The walk home was great; the temperature was beautifully brisk, and the fading sunset lingered in the darkened sky.

It was Pat’s birthday today, but since I knew beforehand that I wouldn’t be able to see him, I gave him a bottle of Huge Boss In Motion. I tried some of the other colognes, but none of them seemed to fit him. Most of the brand names are very strong, so I find they don’t match the subtle presence of most Asian individuals.

I got my RatpadGS today, and it works amazingly well compared to my old mouse pad. I had no idea how much I had worn down the surface of the old one.

I went to my first NHL hockey game last week, and even though I’m a Leafs fan, I still enjoyed rooting for the home team, watching them win 3–2 in overtime. I’m surprised at how much smaller the rink looks compared to what it appears to be on TV. I had some great seats, and they only cost me $20.

I found out that I can still count quarter notes to the end of phrases perfectly in 4 based time.

I’ve been watching a lot of Chinese movies lately. I always find the scenery to be subtly poignant, from the density of the houses, to the confinement of the living arrangements, to the homliness of the shops. It makes me miss Hong Kong. It makes me miss seeing my grandparents. It makes me miss the quaint lifestyle, the diversity of food, the entire culture.

If I end up going to Hong Kong this year, I hope to be able to tell my grandmother how strong a person I see her to be, but I detest my limited knowledge of the Chinese language. I wish that I could express to her in English how much I look up to her. If I had a chance with English, I would feel like I could do the feeling justice. I hope she doesn’t hurt my feelings. I hope she doesn’t die before I see her next. I wonder who would cry.

I still remember living with Kenny, having a great time at his place, playing with all sorts of interesting gadgets. His parents were always good people, one of the few sets of relatives I care about.

The feeling is almost tangeable. I can close my eyes, and see myself there again, a lost, emotionless, ignorant boy. I miss the street vendors. I miss the smell of my grandmothers house. I miss the bliss.

I realize that my feelings are probably a result of my absolute contentment whenever I was in Hong Kong. I’ve had some of the best times of my life there, and I remember nothing but happiness. It seems like I’ve been tainted with maturity, and I’m trying to regain a lost part of my childhood, the carefree being that is so characteristic of young people.

Tainted.

I like that.

My cryptography midterm was easier than expected. I was the first to leave, and I was able to answer every question. Whether I was right or not is a different story.

I have only four projects left to do. A cryptography presentation on message authentication, my honours project on Rubik’s cube time complexity, an essay on gold price fluctuations, and a final OpenGL presentation program. They’re all due one after the other, so I’m trying to take one at a time, even though the going is slow.

I went out to support a few friends of Wheaties, in a band called Pensive State yesterday. I didn’t really feel like going out, but I figured that it would be a good break from being stuck in my apartment all day. It was much warmer than expected.

CAt told me about a version of Autumn Leaves by Eva Cassidy, and I think that it’s my favourite version so far. Apparently, the song has been completely overdone for over half a century, and I’ve only just heard of it.

Jeff’s coming over tonight to catch up a bit.

I’ve been seeing a lot of use of Moveable Type. I’m not very good with Perl yet, but the code will probably be much cleaner than what mine is now, and more modular. On every blog I’ve seen, the author keeps one large page of the current months entries. I much prefer to have one entry at a time, so that there can be more depth to my writing without flooding the page with text. I would also want multiple queries from the database, so that I can display my recommended and analysis sections at the same time. I’m just not sure if Moveable Type can pull all this off, or whether my host even supports the right script permissions.

Wheaties, Aaron, and Trolley are all coming over on Tuesday for a sort of guys night. We’ll be watching Swingers, and maybe some Basketball.

With dual sisal scratching posts, 3 carpeted lounging surfaces with climbing holes, hanging sisal toy and sturdy, wide base? Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.

The idea of unbalanced relationships was brought to my mind over the weekend. For a relationship to work, both parties must be satisfied with the relationship. If one person isn’t happy, then the relationship is bound to fail, unless work can be done to appease that person.

An interesting idea that arises from this is the occurrence of relationships in which both parties have differing reasons for being together. For example, one person might like the good time that the other is able to give, while the other person might like the intelligence of the first person.

I imagine that a trophy husband or wife relationship would be like this. One person has money to offer, whereas the other person has looks, and both are willing to sacrifice for the other.

Even a relationship as unbalanced as this is able to work, as long as both people are happy. And what if one person wants one thing from the other that can only be temporarily provided? The relationship becomes temporary itself, although not to both people.

Yet can such a relationship work? That depends on the definition of “work”. I don’t think that such a relationship can last for long. After all, it is based on the fundamentals of hedonism, to one person at least. The other person, aware of this or not, will only be left alone in the end.

So, hypothetically, one may look at both cases, one case where both parties are aware of the temporary status, and the other case in which only one member knows of such sinister motivations.

The former can be successful, as both people have an understanding of the situation, although an ending of the terms may cause problems such as the end of a friendship. The latter, on the other hand, can only lead to pain.

Being confused about either can only lead to worse.