The first time we kissed. The first time we held each other. The first time we slept with arms entwined, bodies bare and buried under the covers.
It was before the snow melted on the verge of spring, when I would open the windows to dry the sweat from our skin.
I put on a song that made me cry, because she said that it turned her on, and with the tears welling up in my lids, we stared into each others’ eyes.
From the moment we touched, there was never any awkwardness. Only a complete trust, a comforting familiarity, as if we’d known each other for years, a gentle nuzzle of the nose from my baby-faced doll.
And now it’s over.
Someone who saw this video sent me this very touching letter about her story of rape and recovery.
A tribute to Nick and Alison, my old laid-back roommate (who taught me how to make a mean grilled cheese, offered a significant challenge in Counter Strike, and introduced me to Lamb) and his new bride.
I would say something about the wedding, but the video says it all.
At one point in the night I was running around with my Karachi Outpost strapped on my back, and my camcorder bag around my shoulder, feeling like a one-man documentary team, even though my focus was on video instead of stills. There are a couple of camera issues, such as focus and zoom speed that still bug me when I watch the footage, but until I can afford a Canon XL2 my cheap Hitachi DVD-cam will have to do.
Surprisingly, the easiest part was picking the song, something that can take days itself. I needed a single track that would work through landscapes, kissing, and drinking, three things that evoke vastly different emotions, and Tulips by Bloc Party was perfect. Even the timing of the lyrics worked out. I wish I could say that I was able to obtain a score for the music, analyze it, and symetrically break down the scenes according to the development. To be honest I just didn’t have enough footage, so I just put what I could in the parts that would fit, without interrupting the flow of the story.
The entire clip took about three solid days to complete, half of which was just getting the scenes in the right format to work with in Adobe Premier 2.0. I was plagued by video format problems and asynchronous audio issues. It was also the first time I was able to try this latest version of Premier since I was running 1.5 for a while. The process really pushed the capabilities of my system; loading only Premier with the whole sequence took up 1.6 gigs of RAM. Render time was about 20 minutes on a dual-core AMD 4400+. Uncompressed video size is almost 2 gigs.
Exactly one year ago today, I was doing this. Even though the annual party at Chris and Clarmen’s actually starts on the 25th, I really see it as a boxing day party, the way a New Year’s party really starts on the 31st of December.
That night we used the excuse of going to Timmies for all the parents as a way out of the house to have a session. Unfortunately, this meant remembering about a dozen drink orders, something that proves difficult under the influence.
In chronological order:
We met up at the house, where Darren’s fingers brave the turtles
A session occurred outside, and on the way to Timmies we introduced Chris to Dreamtheater (hence the music selection)
An order is made for about a dozen drinks with great difficulty
We drove back to play Slap Hand, which is a variation on Slap Jack, except the pile is hit every time the correct number is called (and for increased difficulty we played with +/- rules where the pile is only hit if the number spoken is an addition or subtraction of a different specified number)
Darren randomly deals everyone a hand of hold ‘em and plays it through, and this causes me to make fun of his obvious addiction
Darren precisely deals a full hand of 13 cards for a game of Asshole, while talking, for which I count my cards in disbelief and finally realize just how much he plays cards
Other signs of how stoned we were:
Darren and Chris’s voices drop an octave, while my voice raises two (two!)
I can’t keep my jittery hands under control
The way Chris says, “Just awesome guys. Awesome.”
At one point we have to stop to count to the right number in Slap Hand
I laugh, a lot
This year, today, Lam joined us instead since Darren is off in Las Vegas.
The concert was quite amazing. The set lasted just over an hour and a half. Nothing was performed off the first album, which makes me think that Thrice actually knows how weak an LP it was. They did two encores, one of which was Dustin playing an acoustic version of Staring At The Sun, and the other which was a short little piece from the middle of The Abolition Of Man, where Dustin actually hands off his guitar to a guy who comes on stage with a grey hoodie, and walks into the crowd to scream the last few bars. Unfortunately, my memory card ran out of space during the LASTWORD, ultimately ruining the clip.
It was good to see that people knew all the words to Artist In The Ambulance, and Deadbolt (which they didn’t play until everyone was yelling it in chorus).
On his celebrity, Dustin once said, “It’s pretty awesome. A lot of people throw underwear at bands, but our kids bring us books”. If I ever had the chance, I’d give him Huis-Clos by Jean-Paul Sartre.
There’s more that can be said, but I think I’ll put this to rest for now.
It was five days of relaxation, with someone I could spill my guts to. The only person who knows everything about me, every embarrassing experience I’ve had, every dark secret in the back of my mind. I could try, but I doubt that I would ever be able to explain my relationship with John. Let the indescribable remain so.
Most of the time was spent in conversation. In the car we would cruise. On the couches we laid ourselves out, both as shrink and patient. We revisited my old stomping grounds, the university campus with its dull, right-angle architecture. There was a bit of serendipity during his stay, the kind of happenstance that makes one question their sense of faith, fate, or lack thereof. After a series of random and correct turns, it was a sudden, rather terrifying, confrontation of months of meditation on the second introduction. Something I’ve been discussing with John ever since I started writing about it, something I wasn’t ready for at all, and something we happened to catch on camera.
The long weekend was just plain relaxing. It’s good to get out every once in a while, although once a year is enough for me to appreciate my clean room, my comfortable bed, and the company of my kitty cat. Getting to know Chris, Aaron’s brother, was a treat.
It drizzled for most of the weekend, but it wasn’t enough to stop us from playing poker in our tents or under the tarp. As can be seen in the last photo, on the last day, the leaves were completely dry under our tents (left side of the picture) while leaves on the ground were soaked through (right side).
Even camping food is easy. Meals cooked over the fire are plate and utensil-free. Cake is eaten with hands, and one feels no more guilty in the company of others than gorging alone.
I managed to get some great shots at night. I still wonder how I’d do with a nice digital SLR though. The one in the bottom right corner came out especially well: the circular lens patterns of my Maglite can be made out in the leaves.
One of the best parts of camping is passing through all the little towns along the way. It always reminds me of the drive up to John’s cottage. The buildings are homely and unique, with so much personality. We passed by an old, working drive-through in the middle of nowhere, and I had to get a picture of the weathered sign. There also happened to be a tiny, pastel-coloured bowling alley, and we decided to play a few games. Funny how the one time we end up going bowling is the time that Trolley couldn’t go with us (he’s never been bowling, and we keep telling each other that we have to go with him sometime).
A growth, a flower, and a lizard. I have no idea what is growing on the log, but I do know that the flower is a trillium, which is the provincial flower of Ontario. It’s also protected, which means that one can get fined for picking it (Any person who contravenes the act is guilty of an offence and on conviction is liable to a fine of not more than $50,000, or to imprisonment for a term of not more than two years, or to both). The lizard is a salamander, and there were a few crawling around in the leaves.
