I love him and his pen­chant for short goodbyes.

Why is it not a sin­gle cabby knows my street address?

At gate 124, wait­ing to sit in row 24 to Ottawa. Good thing I’m not a super­sti­tious Chinese person.

Just heard a reporter pro­nounce St. Louis with the silent S, then cor­rect him­self. Your city is named after a *French* king! #bas­tardiza­tion

Someone just explained to me a “Chinese fire drill”, and how they used to do them all the time in high school. I sort of want to try it now.

Not sure what’s more impres­sive: the iPad I’m hold­ing, or the fact that it hasn’t ended up in my pants yet. #tech­no­lust

Shirt ironed in 3 min­utes. I feel like a true chi­na­man, here to steal the jobs.

“We will be arriv­ing at the gate shortly. Please keep in mind this is shortly in avi­a­tion language.”

Dear obese per­son in the seat next to me: I’m keep­ing my tray down to keep your fat from spilling onto my leg. #ewwww

The Ottawa air­port is using the well-established RSS icon as it’s wifi icon. #facepalm

Heard her name today and I didn’t sweat. #progress #finally

Every time I buy liquor and get carded, I make a note of the day cause I always think it’ll be the last.

Part of me wishes the aisles of dol­lar stores were labelled, but part of me also under­stands how gigan­tic those signs would be.

I believe I just heard Single Ladies in it’s entirety for the first time, and I don’t think I’m any bet­ter for it.

Signs you’re get­ting older: dan­druff in the eyebrows.