We are call­ing the bar Ten Forward.

A nine year old boy thought I was 20. Luckily, I’m at an age where I take that as a compliment.

Beer for break­fast. #lifewin or #life­fail

I like how this sug­ges­tion is in my inter­nal iPhone dic­tio­nary. http://t.co/yCy5uT6Z

You know it’s fon­due sea­son when all the bars of semi-sweet choco­late are gone.

Dear mid­dle aged man: you do not sound cool if you call my tat­toos “tats” or my head­phones “phones”.

“@AngelaMorriscey: The Jenny and Dave wed­ding video is won­der­ful! It was very mov­ing. They were blessed to have you there.” Thank you!

So it turns out the only thing more fright­en­ing than a spi­der on your mon­i­tor is a spi­der on your key­board. #AAAAAHHHH

How many Apple fan­boys were expect­ing Jobs to be named TIME’s Person of the Year?

Great name for a bowl­ing alley, or great­est name? http://t.co/f7QTwegO

According to Simon, I got quote of the night. Unfortunately, that quote hap­pened to be, “I’m com­pen­sat­ing for a small penis”.

I miss beers with clever names. http://t.co/XX8mpKEO

How is this the first time in my life that I’m play­ing poker with John. Or against him, as it were.

If you drive so fast that you see the esti­mated arrival time going down on your GPS, it’s like time is pass­ing twice as fast.

Theoretically speak­ing, a spi­der that’s small enough to crawl under my floor­board is too small to be scared of. Theoretically.