I was invited to a night of black magic (as well as some tasty antipasto), and I didn’t know what to expect. Part of the instructions were to bring a large piece of construction paper, a white pencil crayon, and a piece of paper with something written on it that I want to be rid of in my life. Turns out the construction paper was to make our hats and chains, and the pencil crayon was to fashion said hats and chains with our power symbols (something with meaning to each person). I was also given a phrase to memorize and incant during the ceremony.

There were glow sticks, good food¹, and great people. I won’t go into details about the ritual, for revealing too much, as I understand it, is akin to telling people your birthday wish. Needless to say, I hope to wake up to some growth down south (aka expansion to drilling operations in the wildlife preserve) one of these days, if you catch my drift.

1. I got to try some kind of homemade peach juice, which was a thick as glycerin, but very tasty. [↑]

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I’m currently on autopilot. Doing without thinking, and just being.

It’s a strange feeling because I’ve been trying to get to this level where I’m no longer conscious of trying to be at this level¹. It’s a recursive nightmare. But now that I’ve been here for a few days, I’m not sure if I like it. I can’t tell if it’s because I’m not used to it, because I feel like I’m missing something, or because I feel way too overstimulated.

I tried to schedule a day of rest, aka me time, aka hermitizing in my house, in between every event, but that didn’t work out. I won’t have a single day to myself until the 3rd of January. I was hoping for a holiday where I could sit and do nothing for two days in a row, just so it’d be like a long weekend at least. I’ve been trying to celebrate because I finished my contracts early, but I suppose these last few days have been enough of a treat, even if it’s left me without any time to withdraw and reflect.

One day I woke up at Darren’s house, went downstairs, turned on the TV, and Serendipity had just started. I remember watching this generic holiday drivel set in a New York Christmas at Vicky’s house back when I was in university. It was definitely Christmas back then cause I was back home in Toronto, before my parents divorced, and we went to house parties as a family. It was it’s own little serendipitous sign, reminding me the holidays were here, and I should take it all in for a second.

1. Croupier, starring Clive Owen, is completely based on this idea. Go see it. [↑]

Day one

At security, I’m selected randomly for a screening. The guard asks my age. “Twenty…”, I begin, trying to remember if I’m 27, 28, or 29. “Twenty. Okay.”, he says, cutting me off. Somehow, he believes I look nearly a decade younger than I am. For two days, I’m packed light, with no checked baggage. In my rush, I forget to get some American money. This worries me.

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It’s SO great to work with a couple who appreciates art…enough to be willing to get naked for it.

A little while ago, I stopped shaving. I had the flu for about five days, and already had a five-day shadow developed when that began. Then with a lack of social engagements, I decided to let it keep growing, lest I lose such a generous head start that only began because I was too lazy when I was sick.

I took this picture, and it was more than three weeks without touching a razor at that point.

Aaron always keeps a neatly trimmed beard, so I asked him how he takes care of it; which direction to shave, what length to start trimming, etc. It was strange to be seeking shaving advice from someone at this point in my life. Most of the hair is around the mouth and on chin, with only an embarrassing half-dozen wires sprouting randomly from my cheeks, so it required a touch of maintenance.

For a long time, I didn’t know what to think of it, whether I liked it or not. Aaron said to me, “Sometimes, you don’t need to know”, and I went with that for a while. Maybe time would give me an answer.

Soon after, I started shaving again. It wasn’t getting any thicker, and I didn’t think I could pull it off.

I turn 30 in 11 months, and I still can’t grow a beard.

The Turning 30 Series

• 29: The Child
• 29 1/12: The Adolescent
• 29 2/12: The Lachrymologist
• 29 3/12: The Once Loved
• 29 4/12: The Mask

The house show (announced earlier this year) was a huge success. I moved a bunch of furniture around in the living room and transformed it from this:

To this:

There were almost 30 people crammed into my living room for a night of intimate music and an ice cream bar¹ (on which I spent nearly $100, including all the fixins). Admittedly, I got a little overstimulated and panicky somewhere in the middle, due to all people, but Pat and Jen came and talked to me, and they calmed me down. It also got really hot with all the people in there, so I cranked up the A/C a few hours ahead of time.

Arne, who goes by the stage name Duryea Hawkins and was Shane’s surprise guest musician, completely blew everyone away with his opening number, named Snowman. At the end of the song, you can hear Dan say, “Wow“. It’s so good, I have it on constant repeat at the moment.

Once again, Shane dedicated a song to me (woo!), my favourite of course, It’s A Drag. He also did a few new songs I had never heard before; one of the best parts of concerts is being able to hear new material that a musician is working on.

And for the first time, I got to see Jesse rap in person. He was going to do an all acoustic show, with several exotic instruments, but then Nick (who does the backing vocals/beats and goes by the stage name Rockefort F. Loopfrog) bought a loop machine, so they decided to use that instead. Quite different from the studio produced sounds that I’m used to hearing from Jesse, but just as good.

The artists all went home happy with the money that was donated² and made from the swag they sold.

Since it was my first house show, I really wanted to enjoy it instead of fussing with getting the proper shot, so I set up my camera and left it on in the corner. Next time, I’m going to do a bit more camera work.

1. This must have been a fairly memorable part, because people like Jess called it the Ice Cream Party instead of the House Show. [↑]
2. Legally, as the venue, I’m not allowed to make money, so I have accept “donations” as a cover charge. [↑]

Tina and I headed to a couple of small towns around Ottawa. She had her Nikon and I was armed with my new Canon 5D Mark II, which is a full frame camera and gives me such wonderfully wide angles. You can see her shots at her flickr set. They give me great ideas on how I can look at things from another perspective because they’re so different from mine, approaching shots from closer ranges and composing with more diagonal angles.

This is by far my favourite shot (above), and I’ll probably get a large print of it when I have the money. There’s a series of acrylic paintings by Ken Vincent at the Koyman Galleries in Ottawa, and I’ve always wanted this one in particular because the colours and the moody clouds speak of pure emotion to me, and I never believed I was capable of capturing such moments with my last camera¹. The price — $2300 for a 28"x61" painting — had always held me back, but now I’m confident I can get that elusive look I’ve been trying to capture, myself.

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1. A Canon Digital Rebel Xt [↑]

Louise gave me a gorgeous copy of the Tao Te Ching. It’s translated by James Legge, with classic Chinese art from the Cleveland Museum of Art. What’s especially cool is that the fonts used for the titles is Avenir, which is the same font I used for my second Tao tattoo.

It’s perfect because I feel like I’ve strayed from the path lately. It’s been a few weeks since I picked up the book and read a few verses.

I really like the fact that many of the pages have no verses, and only artwork. It’s nice enough that I’ll probably keep it out on my coffee table, instead of in my bookshelf hidden in a closet¹.

She also gave me this bamboo bookmark, with a Confucian saying on it. I find it funny because Confucianism opposes Taoism, though they both have very good ideas.

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1. Not that I don’t like to display books, I just prefer to keep a neat house. [↑]