The third Emergence Exposition was the first summer show. With daylight coming through the house, and the doors and windows open, there was a different mood floating around. People also dressed lightly and in bright colours, adding to the sense of airiness.

Along with the mind-blowing visual artwork, there were performances by Con Brio, a string quartet, and Aura Giles, a modern flutist with huge lungs.

One of the most memorable parts of the night, however, was a performance of an original composition by John Alac, where he tells a story of a man about to be executed, using only his guitar. The number of different sounds he gets from plucking, tapping, scratching his strings is quite amazing, although what really blew my mind was the way he got the sound of a bell to toll at 4:06.

(You can watch this in High Definition on the Vimeo site. It looks much nicer.)

It’s on nights like this that I feel especially lonely.

I spent the last two hours looking for an image that would express my mood, but this was the best I could come up with. When I went outside, to see if the street lights would offer me more, I passed by open windows, each one filled with a different coloured light. It made me wonder what the people were doing, who they were with, what mood they were in.

It’s been a day alone. A day without contact. A day of rain and greyness, and living vicariously at Robson Arms.

So here I sit in the dark, with my apple and honey swirl pie and Ovaltine, writing because I haven’t said enough today, listing to songs of love and hate. Feeling like an old soul.

Wondering tonight if I’ll dream, or sleep soundly, or dream without remembering.

I left when the sun was setting. Along the way, the road stretched out infinitely before me, as if to say that I can always get away, and there is always more to go. The tree line danced and waved across the horizon, eventually disappearing with the sun. Then the lines of red and white in each direction guided me all the way to Darren’s house.

In it are little things from the house I grew up in — some candles here, some cabinets there — that my parents didn’t want after the divorce. So strange to see innocuous objects from my childhood in a different setting.

It was the first time we’ve been completely sober together since we were kids. No alcohol, no weed.

I found out a couple things I wouldn’t have known otherwise:

• My dad started dating someone. He is currently single again.
• He has a dance floor at his house and a nice car. This is typical of my dad, who loves his toys.
• My mother is still insecure.
• My parents still see each other, but not alone. The current social rule among the group of parents, is that you can’t invite one to a party without inviting the other.

A weekend of sweet indulgence, late nights, and intimate conversation. No one understands my relationships the way Darren does, because we both share these quixotic ideas about love. It was so comforting to be able to express myself on these things without having to explain my underlying feelings, as if someone could truly understand me, especially important in this current phase of my life.

It made me realize that home isn’t where the parents are, something I used to believe¹. It’s an idea.

A comforting place you can go to get away, where you’re completely accepted for who you are.

1. I’m not sure exactly when I stopped believing this, but it was probably somewhere between the time my parents got divorced and I stopped talking to my mom.

When I got back, to my surprise, they looked like this:

She made the bouquet herself — hand-picked the flowers, chose the colours, even made sure it was symmetrical, knowing my odd habits¹ — and left them there to greet me from my journey home.

I never ask for these things but she does them anyway.

Which is exactly what makes them so significant.

1. I tend to straighten her necklaces, her sandal straps, the curls of her hair, the draw-strings in her hoodie/yoga pants…

When you live with a cat who sleeps on things to mark her territory, you never wonder why your clothes are covered with hair.

Babies seem to have a different expression every second, and the expressions are so innocent. They hide nothing. I like to think each expression reveals the drifting thoughts going on in their tiny little brains. Rather difficult to photograph because the face they wear when you press the shutter release button is invariably different from the one you get.

Rosella here is half-Persian, half-Caucasian. Aside from being so cute you could chew her cheeks off, you can already tell how beautiful her mixed blood is going to make her.

The first thing I notice about a girl is her face, but the eyes are what hold my attention.

Big, round, and pure. They’re the ultimate sign of femininity, because they convey innocence, youth, vitality.

Sometimes, the most intimate and personal thing you can do — from having a conversation to making love — is make eye-contact.

Some more practice with photographing couples. Ellen and Ziny are both med students who used to be roommates. They happened to be in Ottawa at the same time for internships at different hospitals, so it was the perfect opportunity to get them both together for a few shots.

Getting black hair and clothes to show up against a black background is very tricky. I suspect darker textures need their own dedicated light source to increase the exposure.

Concept

Some people ask me whether I feel more Chinese or Canadian. While some first-generation Canadians say that they’re neither, I feel like I’m both, because I appreciate and understand things from both cultures. I have the best of both worlds.

I already have a the hanzi character for “tao” on my right wrist, so I got the word “tao” on my left in English. This tattoo serves two purposes: as an expression of this dual heritage, and as another reminder for me to follow the tao.

The Operation

(Since Vimeo doesn’t support embedded HD videos yet, you can
watch me get inked in glorious High Definition on the Vimeo site. The quality is so good, you can see the needle!)

I went back to Jay at New Moon, who did an awesome job on my first tattoo. When I walked in, he had the latest Mars Volta album on, which I didn’t even know was out until that day. Most of the time was passed comparing them to Tool, two of our favourite bands¹.

Can you tell when he’s going over my artery? (Hint: I start to swear)

Typography

The three-letter word is written in Avenir. As the Humanist, sans-serif typeface designed by Adrian Fruitiger (also used for the title and menu of this site), it’s my favourite font. Clean, sharp, minimalist, and legible. The most distinguishing part, as with most good fonts, is the double-story “a”, which increases legibility.

I had over a dozen variations, at different point sizes, kerning values, and weights. I wanted the weight, size, and position to balance with the one on my right wrist. In the end, I went with one that was 63.78 points, and the 35 “light” weight.

Spelling

I chose the Wade-Giles Romanization of “tao”. “dao” (the Pinyin Romanization), while commonly accepted nowadays, is too new for me to recognize it as the official spelling. “Dō”, the Cantonese/Japanese pronunciation, was also an idea, but it doesn’t carry the same connotation when relating it to “Taoism” because it’s not “Dōism” (in my mind, at least).

Another consideration was the capitalization. Most Taoist books capitalize tao as the “Great Way”, but I felt “tao” was less pretentious, especially since there’s no sense of capitalization in Chinese. It also balances the rest of the word out nicely, as the large “T” makes it look as if the word is about to topple over.

Popularity

In the last few months, the most popular searches to this site by far are for terms such as “tao tattoo”, “taoism tattoo”, “chinese wrist tattoo”, so it looks like people are seeking similar ideas. The most popular Taoist tattoo is the yin-yang by far, but it’s overdone now, even on people who don’t understand the concept.

I’ll have to accept the fact that more and more people are getting tattoos, and that as people try to unique, someone out there will eventually have the same one as me.

The Tao Tattoo Series

1. The Meaning
2. The Experience
3. The Background
4. Tattwo

1. Tool was a favourite until Lateralus came out, and I discovered Dream Theater. Ænima remains one of my top albums though.

Playing around with black-and-white, an off-camera flash, and a nice Cuban cigar.

Sometimes, enjoying life is as simple as this.