I feel jittery. I feel nervous. I feel like I’m at ground zero, yet again. I must write.

I ended up getting groceries on Monday, at the most convenient Loblaws still open. It’s at a decent location, and right on the transitway, but much smaller than the Loblaws I used to frequent. That’s alright though, since it just means that I can’t pick up lawn furniture or air hockey tables in the bulk buyers section.

I’ve been relaxing too much during reading week. I’m not sure how much work I should attempt to get done in the next few days. On the one hand, I see it as a break, and that I should be doing nothing but relaxing. On the other hand, I also see it as catch-up week, which is the way most of my friends are viewing it as well, making me feel guilty that I plan on having a supine mood through most of the week. I’ll be trying to study with Aaron tomorrow though, so hopefully his work ethic will rub off on me.

I finally found a word for non-physical affinity (as opposed to a physical affinity, which would be “fetish”): propensity. It’s too bad that propensity doesn’t have the same sexual connotation associated with it, but then again, I must be the only person I know that gets turned on by someone’s personality or actions.

I’ve been living out of my Banana Republic hoodie lately. It’s the hoodie I’ve felt the most comfortable in; the sleeves are nice and long, the material is a sort of soft, smooth cotton, and the hood isn’t too stiff. I wish there was a Banana Republic somewhere in this city. I’ve always liked the quality of their materials, the semi-formal look of their casual clothes.

I spent the weekend at Trolley’s place and had a great time. We just hung out, played Gamecube, and watched some movies. I’m not sure if I overstayed my welcome, but I’m sure that any good host is able to blur that fine line. It’s good to have another friend that I can connect with. Wheaties and Ian went skiing at Tremblant, and although I was invited, I felt like I wasn’t prepared to spend over $100 on a lift ticket with rentals.

Trolley also introduced me to Crank Yankers, a hilarious show on Comedy Central. The concept of the show is that people make crank calls, and both the roles of caller and reciever are played out using puppets. The crank calls are usually very original though, sometimes involving a third party (such as a mother picking up the phone while her son is calling about a penis enlarger). Everything is very well done, and the actors are able to improvise their lines with perfect precision depending on what an unwitting participant says. My favourite
series of crank calls are by Spoonie Love, the resident playa (played by SNL’s Tracey Morgan). Sometimes he’ll call a newspaper to place a classified ad, and his message will involve busting a double horizontal on someone’s ass.

Thom lent me his Pantera DVD, 3 Vulgar Videos from Hell. The music hasn’t been that great, but the behind-the-scenes and concert footage is good. It’s also mesmerizing to see the confidence that Phil Anselmo exudes at the concerts, the way Danko Jones or Kid Rock seem to in their music videos.

I was awakened by Dolly scratching at my sheets this morning. As soon as I lifted them up, she went underneath and tried to sleep on my stomach. Unfortunately, my thin frame didn’t provide much of a foundation, and she slid to one side, but eventually fell asleep there anyway. It’s the first time she has been comfortable enough to sleep under the sheets, instead of beside my head as usual.

I stumbled across the site of an intelligent girl who writes about things in relationships not commonly discussed, and who happens to inhabit the same city as I do. I enjoy the polish and depth that her editorials have, but I think it’s her openness that I can appreciate most. It’s always fascinating to find out a female opinion on some of the more taboo sex related subjects, instead of the opinion which other guys believe they know.

The entire Columbia Space Shuttle incident has made me feel like we’re still very primitive in our exploration methods, and that we should simply leave well enough alone until we’re ready. It’s like we’re trying to break the sound barrier again, and people are sacrificing their lives in the pursuit of knowledge. I suppose that if they’re willing to make that sacrifice, then their decision must be respected. Otto Lilienthal would be proud.

This week has been such an emotional roller coaster. I can’t describe the odd moods I’ve been in, the twists and turns my mind has been going in. I feel lost.

I have three mid-terms tomorrow, one of which I feel confident about. I tried desperately to study during the three days I had off, and only one of them (today) had any progress whatsoever. I think it’s just my study environment, combined with my current emotional fluctuations. I tried to study in the SITE building today, watched the sun go from east to west, and felt my melatonin levels drop. I feel burned out already. I definitely need this reading week.

Speaking of which, I most likely won’t be going home for the week. I’ll probably try to hang out with Trolley or Thom. I don’t have time to change the dates on my train tickets, or even get a new ISIC. I’m not even sure if I’m elligible, since I’m a part-time student when not considering my honours project as a course.

My progress through Moby Dick has been non-existent lately.

I’ll have to catch the Married with Children reunion special on Sunday. I always found the show to be amusing when I was a kid, though I never laughed out loud as I would if watching a funny show nowadays, like Family Guy. I think I was just mystified by the openness with which the sexuality was dealt with, something that I never grew up around. I’m sure the special will remind me of the summers I spent at home long ago, something I’d rather remember for my innocence than my ignorance.

I’m downloading Full Metal Jacket. I still can’t get over how brilliant the entire film was, possibly the best display of genius on film I’ve seen so far. I still haven’t decided whether I should buy it though, since it’s not quite a movie I can relate to, which is generally the criteria I use to build my collection.

The weather here has been unforgiving.

I forgot to plug in my freezer after disconnecting it to free up a spot on the power socket on Saturday, so basically all my food has gone bad. I still have some breakfast and lunch food in the refrigerator, but that’s about it. I won’t be able to do much grocery shopping this week due to all the shit I have to get done, and the most convenient store for me to get to is closed until the fall, so I’m pretty much fucked, food-wise, for a few days.

I can’t stand what people believe are Chinese accents. Every time I hear one from a North American source, the accent can’t be further from realism. Every time a Chinese person is on the Simpson’s, or a Crank Yankers prank call from a Chinese guy, or even the fucking Chinese people speak in C&C: Generals, I get pissed off. Why don’t they just get an actual Chinese person to do the accent? The accents are not even close to what a nasty Chinese person sounds like. It’s like they have to tone down the accent so that people can recognize it (let alone understand what the person is saying), and so that it can be accepted by the general public.

Speaking of C&C: Generals, I was able to get my hands on a copy of it today, a few days before it’s due out in Canada. It looks amazing, but possibly a little too cluttered for actual gameplay purposes. I’m not sure if I’ll buy it yet. I’ll probably wait and see if my friends are interested in purchasing it for online play, and if I get addicted enough to warrant support of EA Games, although I’m sure they have enough money as a publisher of mainstream games already.

I got a compliment on my black nail polish today. I was pleased, I guess, but I suppose that it’s rare that one would make a bad comment on something like that; I think that most people, if not finding it atractive, would simply remain silent.

Somehow I got an 80% on my cryptography assignment. I imagine that the class average was around there. The questions were so difficult that the TA had to be extremely generous with the marks. Pat ended up getting 88%, which I feel is unfair, since he spent so much more time on his assignment than I did. It seems to be such a plight of university, that professors don’t realize that students’ capabilities are much lower than theirs.