Leave it to a single phone call to fill me with worry. Now I’m anxious about my marks, my mid-terms, my projects, my graduation, my life. Pat gave me a pep-talk yesterday, and it helped. Graduation seems uncomfortably close. I’m dying to know how the story ends.

Patrick was nice enough to come up to me and start a conversation the other day. I asked him how his work was going, and he told that he’s really enjoying it. He let me know that the Montage project in becoming really big, and they might be looking for more workers, and that if I send Chau my resumé and let him know that I can work full-time during the summer, I might be able to get a job in development, instead of informatics.

God, my sentences are becoming more and more structured like something Henry James would have written, although I’m sure I’m not able to be as descriptive, or as brilliant, since he’s a well renowned author infamous for being garrulous, whereas I’m simply a computer science student, only able to write when necessary.

There seem to be a few Five Alive flavours on the market, such as “Tropical”, “Citrus”, or “Peach Passion”, but none taste as good as “Berry”. Aaron, Trolley, and I all agree that it tastes like Skittles. The juice from concentrate has a slightly varying taste from the one in the bottle; I find the latter to be a little more tart and a little sweeter.

I’m getting a new Intellimouse Explorer sent to me via snail mail, thanks to Trolley. I called up Microsoft, told them that my mouse button was double-clicking when it should have single-clicked (as instructed by Trolley), and they told me that they would send a new one, free of charge. I don’t even need to send my current one back. I got my current one four years ago, and I remember spending $100 on it. The pads of it have been worn out unevenly, causing a noticeable wobble. The latest design of the Intellimouse Explorer has a lower, sleeker profile, and more easily accessible thumb buttons. Yay.

After talking with my geology professor I feel dumb as fuck. I almost failed my mid-term; my mark was the second lowest in the class, even with a generous grade curve. I think I did considerably well, considering the fact that I had three mid-terms that day, and the fact that I find my mind to be dead when I have my Tuesday lectures after a 7:30am lab. Apparently, I have very little common sense. Although I know that zinc is the main ingredient is sunscreen, or that soft-drinks contain carbon, I don’t know that nitrogen is an important element in fertilizer or that graphite is a popular industrial lubricant. The list of what I don’t know goes on and on. I had no fucking clue that baking soda is sodium bicarbonate. To my prof, all of this is general knowledge, so it’s assumed when dealing with the course. I was never good at chemistry, and my programme of studies isn’t even close to related. I also took the prerequisite at the beginning of university, which is four years ago. Fuck.

I was exhausted yesterday. I worked almost all day on my graphics project, and Aaron came over to work on his Scheme assignment. I was able to talk to him for a few hours before starting the work. We caught Old School at the Coliseum near his place, but it was still a thirty minute walk in one direction. The movie was too predictable, but had some very well done scenes, such as Will Ferrell getting shot in the neck with a tranq dart. I thought some parts were almost insulting though, like a completely gratuitous camera shot of Elisha Cuthbert’s ass while she was laying on a bed. It’s not that I don’t find her behind to be a thing of beauty, it’s that it feels like the producers are adding shit like that in just to get more people in the audience. I guess it’s been happening for a while now; ever since Shannon Elizabeth bared her twins in American Pie, teen movies have been becoming more and more sleazy. I still enjoyed Old School though, and generally laughed my ass off.

Watching Old School allowed me to discover a decent song called Dust in the Wind by Kansas. I’ve also been downloading a lot of Canadian singer Holly Cole, who has a beautifully expressive, olive oil voice. I enjoy Bagdad Café in particular. I found two versions of the song, one live and one studio, which are good but with their own unique flaws. I prefer the live version because it has a simple piano and bass, instead of synth sounds in the studio version, but at one point she becomes obnoxiously loud, as if she was oversinging the notes, the way a trumpet would sound if the trumpeter was blaring. It makes her voice seem almost masculine, which is a big turn-off. The way she mixes her vibrato with her flaring is very seductive though. In the studio version, however, she seems to start off one line a little flat, before pushing her diaphragm to hit a note without going falsetto. It surprized me, since studio songs tend to be a little too perfect.

I finally put up my poster of Dominique Swain. Aaron helped me decide on the linen closet door, since the walls in my room are so big they dwarf my modestly sized poster. I haven’t put it up since second year because it didn’t seem to fit into the simpleness of my room.

I’m not especially happy with yesterdays entry, but I desperately felt like I had to get something down. It’s a little too trite for me to be satisfied.

I bought a bag of frozen carrots and pearl onions to try out the last time I went grocery shopping, since I’ve been trying to eat more vegetables. I found out today that I really don’t like pearl onions. They taste like what I imagine an onion would taste like after being soaked in water overnight. I tried to have the carrots only, but the bag is supposed to be a mélange of the two, and the taste of the onions ends up seeping into the taste of the carrots. I really enjoy having a bunch of onion slices sautéed before adding in a pork chop or whatnot to the frying pan, but pearl onions seem to be a different breed of onion.

Does no one talk anymore? It feels as if everyone needs to be doing something in order to be entertained. I remember trying to get together with an old friend for some drinks, maybe a coffee so that I could find out how he was doing. We were good friends in high school, and since I hadn’t seen him in three years, I thought it would be a good opportunity to learn about what he had been doing. When we were actually able to get together, we ended up playing board games. I had a good time, but it felt odd that I didn’t have any news from him by the time I left.

I understand that most people are busy with school, especially in fourth year, so that relaxation time ends up being hard-core playing and drinking time, which doesn’t involve something as lackadaisical as talking. I’ve been able to meet some good conversationalists, like Dina, Pat, Aaron, or Nick, but they’re generally too busy to speak with. I don’t think anyone is at fault here, I guess I just wish that more people would be interested in conversation, who could commit more time to it.

I think it’s the fact that my brain is exercised when I can talk with someone. Many thoughts that are cloudy in my head become more solidified. I’m also able to learn so much when someone has a different perspective, and learning feels so good. It’s a pity that I don’t know more people that I can simply talk to. I haven’t had a nice, long conversation possibly in a year, since generally all other conversations feel rushed from work or school. No one has the time to talk until 3 am anymore.

It’s going to be a long night.

Four consecutive writing days in a row. Balls.

Pat called me yesterday to see how I was doing. How fucking amazing is that? When I found out, the back of my nose felt tightly congested, and the rims of my eyes started to tingle. I need to be more like Pat. I realized yesterday that he’s like my preacher; he’s the only one I can talk to without fearing judgment or embarrassment. It’s not that my other friends aren’t understanding, it’s that Pat is able to see the motivations that drive the actions one does, without worrying about whether the consequences are for better or worse. He’s able to see the good in many people, and I guess that I need to be reminded that I have some good in me on occasion.

I think I need boobs. I bought a turtleneck during a boxing day sale. I found it on a table stacked with other motley piles of clothes, in the middle of the store, for 50% off. I didn’t try it on, since the lines for the change rooms were ridiculously long. I got home and tried it on, and it felt a little…large. I tried to shrink it in the wash, but it only slightly worked, because it still fit in an odd way. I realized today that it might be a girls’ turtleneck, and that the extra room in it might be for a healthy rack. I’m not completely sure, because I’ve never tried on what I know to be a girls’ turtleneck, and the beige colour isn’t particularly feminine. I suppose I could try to return it since it hasn’t been worn yet, and hasn’t been (noticeably) washed, but I’d rather have the boobs.

I’ve tried to change the date and time coding in PHP, so that it more accurately represents when the entries were written, but no such luck. The server this is hosted on is located in Hong Kong, which is about 13 hours ahead, so all the entries seem like they’re written 13 hours into the future. I found out how to edit the values of the date and time, but only when it’s from a current timestamp, and not when it’s being retrieved from a database. I might just try to figure out a way around everything if I really feel the need to have accurate numbers.

I think that I stop reading during particularly stressful school terms. My free time alone is generally divided between gaming and reading, and when I need some stress relief then gaming is just able to deliver much better. As Doug and I discussed, we’re able to lose ourselves, to just let go of everything else and be completely absorbed. Sometimes my stress will spill over though, and I’ll feel the need to write.

I’ve been trying the regular Maple Leaf bacon recently, instead of the 33% less salt I normally buy. I wanted to see what I was missing out on, and it turns out that it’s just the salt. The bacon does taste better (it is salt after all), but that’s about it. I’ll probably switch back to my less unhealthy bacon next time I go shopping.

I still haven’t been able to accomplish a single bit of schoolwork so far in the week. Aaron, Trolley, and Dougie were all interested in my OpenGL assignment, so I feel like I’m more inspired to work on it to show them what can be done, maybe make them proud of me. I’d definitely want to create something that they would find amazing. Almost like quantum particle observers.

I’ve been getting a boon of games lately, such as Battlefield 1942. Battlefield 1942 plays fairly well, with decent bot support, but sometimes runs at terrible speeds, even on high-end machines. The multiplayer potential is amazing though. Pat also loaned me his PS2 for the week, so I’ve been trying to get through MGS2 as fast as I can. I have to admit that hiding in cardboard boxes is the best part of the game, which is saying a lot, considering how good a game MGS2 is.