I’m rid­ing on so much momen­tum it feels like I’ll never come to a stop. This is a dras­tic change from only a short while ago, and I can attribute it mostly to the chances I’ve had to apply the lessons I’ve learned. Being able to prove to myself that I still have things to dis­cover, that I’m still refin­ing myself as a per­son, has left me feel­ing con­fi­dent and hum­ble lately.

420 protest on Parliament Hill

April 20th is the one day I wish I owned a BeaverTails stand. Protesting doesn’t get any more peace­ful than this.

Making peace with myself used to be a strug­gle. Now that I’m actu­ally happy with who I am, I real­ize how low a bar that used to be. I’ve been through stretches like this before though and they’ve never lasted, so I’m still approach­ing it all with cau­tious opti­mism. At least now I’m wise enough to know that hap­pi­ness is some­thing that needs to be worked at con­sis­tently, in the lit­tle ways, and I’m strong enough to keep it going.

Jon-Kabat Zinn has been help­ing me on this path too. I’ve been lis­ten­ing to a series of his mind­ful med­i­ta­tion exer­cises, and I carry a sense of calm through the day when­ever I hear his voice. Every now and then he offers gen­tle advice on doing this kind of work, like how impor­tant it is to give your­self per­mis­sion to feel what­ever it is you’re feel­ing, and I’ve been dis­cov­er­ing that so much of it has rel­e­vance in other parts of my life.