equivocality — Jeff Ngan's collection of thoughts, experiences, and projects, inspired by pretty much everything
29 Nov 11

take me somewhere nice

It’s night, and a gen­tle song begins on my bed­side speaker. Until this point, I’d always won­dered who’d be the first to hear this song with me. Whose breath I’d feel on my body as the melody got lost in the dark­ness along with our inhi­bi­tions. It wasn’t a song I’d been sav­ing, only one I never had the chance to share until I found myself here, explor­ing the open fields and windswept moun­tains and towns in between.

Sarah and sweater

 

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Me @ Twitter

Fresh tof­fee on a Saturday morn­ing. #feels­good­man

2 years, 9 months ago
26 Nov 11

The willing suspension of disbelief

The stars are clear out here. A train runs through the cen­tre a few times a day, blar­ing a horn as a warn­ing to peo­ple who may be going from build­ing to build­ing by cross­ing the tracks. It’s a tiny vil­lage in a snow­globe, only the snow hasn’t come.

I haven’t been around this many peo­ple in years. I’ve long won­dered what it’d be like to live this life one more time. To have rit­u­als and the­atre plans and reg­u­lar friends. None of this is real, of course, but I don’t mind pre­tend­ing if only for a lit­tle while.

girl in dorm room

Girlcave. Fucking awesome.

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Me @ Twitter

Vibrato does not a singer make.

2 years, 9 months ago
23 Nov 11

this same flower that smiles today

I find myself resigned to someone’s care. It’s not an easy kind of con­trol to relin­quish, but lately I trust as lit­tle as pos­si­ble in the future and do my best to go along for the ride. As the old poem goes; be wise, strain the wine, or as Zorba would put it, “DON’T BE DELICATE”. I didn’t plan on liv­ing for­ever anyway.

On a cold night, we keep the only promise made, one of those small won­ders that still make me believe. I fit some­where between needs and wants, tem­po­rary relief and long-term side effects, class and home­work, nib­bled lips and bit­ten tongues.

in a field

 

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Me @ Twitter

There’s some­thing very scary about “juice” you can buy today that won’t go bad until next year.

2 years, 9 months ago
Me @ Twitter

I can’t be the only per­son who thinks Scribblenauts was a great con­cept that was very, very poorly exe­cuted. #this­game­sucks

2 years, 9 months ago
Me @ Twitter

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the whole “If it’s yel­low, let it mel­low” thing.

2 years, 9 months ago
17 Nov 11

a well-watered place

The fall is hold­ing out against the win­ter, trees clutch­ing bright leaves before the chill breaks their grips. It’s won­der­fully warm among such colours, and we walk in the val­leys of Appalachia to take in the smell of moun­tain air as rus­tic hands around us work live­stock and soil. In old Aramaic, Damascus means “a well-watered place”, a fit­ting name as the rain soon grows too heavy to be explor­ing the tiny town, pop­u­la­tion 981.

looking over a bridge

 

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Me @ Twitter

Or the fact that I missed hang­ing out with @bonkand­beans, who tells me every­one got a free copy of Stranger Music in class tonight.

2 years, 9 months ago
Me @ Twitter

But it still didn’t make up for the fact that I had to miss my first lec­ture of “Leonard Cohen: The Early Rise of the Romantic Troubadour”.

2 years, 9 months ago
Me @ Twitter

The last thing I expected tonight was meet­ing Barbara Kingsolver, which is the first time I’ve ever met the author of a book I’ve read.

2 years, 9 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Ah, the token Asian guy who doesn’t get the white girl.

2 years, 10 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Watching Twilight. Why? So I can see Breaking Dawn in the­atres when it comes out next week and under­stand what’s hap­pen­ing. For serious.

2 years, 10 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Does this mean I have some kind of rep­u­ta­tion? http://t.co/95fyAZwu

2 years, 10 months ago