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I know it wasn’t a date, but I still swooned when I found your playlist in inide lo-fi type­writ­ten let­ters, wrapped with chem­istry notes. It only makes sense that a col­lec­tion of songs be my new stan­dard for a first impres­sion on any roman­tic endeavours.

This became my bat­tle cry. The BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM of the toms that com­pel my body to heave when I’m pre­tend­ing to sing those har­monies to an empty sky.

mixtape playlist front

 

I can trace moments of my past through your music; sum­mer days spent with a Girlfriend’s Dog, a hope­less infat­u­a­tion with auf der Maur’s Celebrity Skin, tinny speak­ers blast­ing Porno Mouth in the room where I lost my vir­gin­ity on a soft sin­gle bed that seemed a huge can­vas to our naked bod­ies. Maybe that’s why you already under­stood so much of me. It’s like we’re dif­fer­ent land­scapes rep­re­sented using the same cartography.

mixtape cover front

 

And yet we we’re so sim­i­lar, and when I real­ized this, it meant I liked myself too. You were the reaf­fir­ma­tion that I should be happy with the per­son I’ve become. I have to won­der though: how’d you get there? Did you hate your­self the way I did, and you suf­fer and strug­gle like me, or have you always been where I’ve been try­ing to get my whole life?

mixtape cover back

 

And if your Nina Simone is my Leonard Cohen, and my Andrew Vincent is your Andrew Vincent, what else do we share?

mixtape playlist back

 

I thought I’d never hear music the same way again. I’d always be lis­ten­ing for the both of us, and my dis­cov­er­ies would for­ever be your dis­cov­er­ies too. So did you mean it when you said I’d linked myself emo­tion­ally to all your favourite songs, or have you for­got­ten me already? I still won­der where you’ve gone when Green Eyes comes on. I told you I need more peo­ple like you in my life, and I still do.

mixtape playlist notes

 

Hope the music is loud, and you’re wear­ing out the soles in your danc­ing shoes somewhere.