equivocality — Jeff Ngan's collection of thoughts, experiences, and projects, inspired by pretty much everything
Me @ Twitter

I want to sign these so badly. http://t.co/UeujrUN

3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Tempted to go to the roller derby bout tonight to watch @bagelsss cause I’m pretty sure derby for her is like Tai Chi for me.

3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter
3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter

I always feel self-conscious when music stores are quiet and I’m try­ing out gui­tars. Wish there was some kind of back­ground noise going on.

3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Every night I tell my cat to stop purring if she doesn’t love me. #win­ning

3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter

The fact that Russian play­ers rarely give you a mercy game means you know when you win legit­i­mately. #tableten­nis

3 years, 2 months ago
28 Apr 11

Sarah and Michael — Wedding Day

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I’ve been bleed­ing for a big project, some­thing to really throw myself into. Luckily, wed­dings are as big as they come, and at 70.43 GB of footage taken, this wed­ding was the biggest by far.

It was also the first Italian wed­ding I’ve expe­ri­enced, and there was noth­ing more inter­est­ing than observ­ing the cus­toms. It’s a very phys­i­cal cul­ture, with lots of hug­ging, kiss­ing, and firm pats on shoul­ders. And some­how every­one is a nat­ural dancer. How did every­one know to hold hands in equally sized cir­cles and start mov­ing in the same direc­tion? How did every­one know when to stop hold­ing hands and start clap­ping1? How did you every­one known to step in to touch the groom and mother at the same time?

This is a per­fect exam­ple of how video takes over the lim­i­ta­tions of still pho­tog­ra­phy. A lot of cama­raderie and inti­macy and con­fi­dence only come out when motion is involved, because it’s all in how peo­ple move and inter­act. Trying to cap­ture a bride eat­ing cake out of her cleav­age just isn’t pos­si­ble with a sin­gle frame.

This was a very spe­cial project for me, and I put so much love into this film, from the camera-work to the edit­ing to the grad­ing to the music. Over three hours of footage was care­fully stripped away to cre­ate this five minute story. Every moment mat­ters, every frame counts.

Sarah and Mike are so happy with the final prod­uct that they’ve now decided to send a DVD of this video out to all the guests in lieu of thank-you cards. For a wed­ding of 450 peo­ple, this is no small con­sid­er­a­tion. When I first met them, I knew they were going to be a fan­tas­tic cou­ple to work with because they were super nice and made me feel very com­fort­able. They also gave me full cre­ative con­trol, which is always the most impor­tant thing for me as an artist.

Production notes beneath the cut

  1. It reminded me of this time I saw an opera in Budapest. When the cur­tain came down and the audi­ence started applaud­ing, every­one even­tu­ally clapped in uni­son and didn’t speed up. North Americans all clap in an amor­phous din, but over in Hungary it’s like they were all clap­ping to the tim­ing of a con­duc­tor. []
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Me @ Twitter

If sub­sti­tut­ing power chords with reg­u­lar chords sounds wrong, does that mean most rock songs can’t be fin­ger­picked due to lack of strings?

3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Woah woah woah…woah. DFA1979 are play­ing Bluesfest this year? When did this reunion happen?

3 years, 2 months ago
26 Apr 11

dry spell

I was spring clean­ing and found a box of con­doms due to expire this sum­mer. What’s the lifes­pan of con­doms kept out of the sun­light and in a cool place?

Five years.

Which pretty much means I haven’t been in a rela­tion­ship in as long, cause I’ve always shied away from any­thing purely phys­i­cal. Sex is very men­tal for me. Someone once told me she thought we were sex­u­ally com­pat­i­ble, but I never felt like we were par­tic­u­larly well-matched. We sim­ply loved each other on a very pro­found level, and that kind of inti­macy and con­nec­tion is what made the sex so good. Without that, it’s not even worth it.

Maybe it’s just my inter­ver­sion that’s lead­ing me to think that no sex is bet­ter than bad sex.

The last thing I did was hold hands with some­one after she jumped into bed with me, com­plain­ing she couldn’t sleep. She had these tiny hands, with slen­der fin­gers. It was nice. But I couldn’t bring myself to take it any fur­ther cause I couldn’t see myself with her.

Luckily, I can do dry spells. Easily. Considering I had a 15-year one until I lost my vir­gin­ity. Now I’m at an age where peo­ple want to intro­duce me to some­one, and some­times they’ll add, “…but she has a kid”, when try­ing to sell me on the idea.

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Me @ Twitter

At least Dolly is also enjoy­ing the long nails. Or more specif­i­cally, the base of her tail.

3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter

The gross­est thing about hav­ing long fin­ger­nails is the gunk that builds under them. But the bright sound makes them oh so worth it.

3 years, 2 months ago
Me @ Twitter

I love it when a player wants to shake hands after a match. It’s the lit­tle bit of chivalry I have left in my life.

3 years, 2 months ago
23 Apr 11

god I hate myself for loving smoke and drink

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The weather has been lovely. It’s the per­fect tem­per­a­ture, though the humid­ity has given my ukulele a much more pro­nounced buzz on the C string. Spring offi­cially begins when I can take the mit­tens out of my car and drive with the win­dows down, my only con­cern being that my music isn’t too embar­rass­ing, and I don’t get a sud­den burst of I BE ON THE HOTLINE LIKE ERRRRDAY when stopped at a red light.

cat on windowsill

 

I’m still phys­i­cally recov­er­ing from last week­end. I got back to Darren’s late after work­ing a very intense 14 hours, and since it’s been so long since we last saw each other, that was just the begin­ning of the night. Then we woke up early to see Chris. On the way home, I had to pull over at a com­fort sta­tion to grab a few winks in my car, but I was too uncom­fort­ably exhausted to fall asleep, and ended up dri­ving home bug-eyed. I’m sure this is why my col­i­tis is act­ing up.

Probably not good that I’ve been liv­ing such a hedo­nis­tic lifestyle. I stay up far too late, drink too much caf­feine, and indulge in too many sweets close to bed­time. I can’t tell if I’ve stopped car­ing, or if I’ve stopped feel­ing guilty about it.

I’ve been going through long stretches with­out con­tact from the out­side world. It’s forced me to face my own iso­la­tion, yet I don’t feel lonely. I have no idea why. Maybe it’s cause I tend to get obsessed with my small hob­bies, and it dis­tracts me enough. I worry that I’ve become a lit­tle too com­pla­cent in this intro­ver­sion. It makes me won­der how long I can keep going down this path, and whether I even want to be on it or not.

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Me @ Twitter

Don’t speak to me about Bulganin, Malenkov, Krushchev, talk to me about Pushkin, Lermontov, Pasternak.

3 years, 3 months ago