This is my cur­rent anthem. T-Dot represent.

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Sometimes I won­der if I only love Toronto because of the peo­ple. There are always things to do and friends to visit, and it feels like my home­town. I hate the dri­ving, I hate all the cops down­town, I hate the fact that it takes me at least half an hour to get any­where, but I always look for­ward to going back.

baby sun conure

Baby sun conure. This lit­tle guy was just start­ing to grow feath­ers, and kept in an incubator.

The iso­la­tion was nice, but it got to the point where John would say he was proud of me just for hav­ing lunch with some­one. Now I find myself going out more and more and it’s a refresh­ing change of pace. Not that I felt like I was uncom­fort­able being home alone; more like the urge to be out over­took me, even if that meant I was still alone among others.

I won­der if my her­mitage was just an extended stretch of time I needed to recharge after my trip to Europe. Or maybe it was know­ing that the next stretch of time until the sum­mer was going to be busy.

This time it doesn’t feel like a tran­si­tion period, because I know it won’t last. I’ll even­tu­ally go back to extended time alone, and I’ll for­ever be in the flux of socia­bil­ity and soli­tude, win­ter and sum­mer. The only thing that’s con­stant is hap­pi­ness. Sure, there are flashes of mis­for­tune, but they’re fleet­ing, con­tained, and just a part of day-to-day life, noth­ing out of the ordi­nary. Maybe this is why I’ve been find­ing it hard to write. I’ve always been fueled by suf­fer­ing in some way or another, but all that’s left now is this contentment.