My therapist has the curious habit of pushing his lower lip into his upper gums when thinking. He also has a very particular way of talking, and sometimes I wonder if I could imitate him.
I went into my session feeling great, and left with a little more modesty than when I started. I may pride myself on my self-awareness, but he’s always there to remind me that some problems are rooted in my subconscious. While my feeling of emptiness has disappeared, there are still a few underlying issues, such as why I started to feel that emptiness in the first place. He said that when we meet again that it should be on a regular basis, and I shouldn’t wait for a crisis to begin fixing issues. I agreed, but wanted to give things a chance on my own first, armed with this new-found enlightenment.
He approaches my situation from such a perpendicular perspective. It’s always a view I’ve never considered before. When I first went to see him, it was for my anxiety attacks. Not for the other deep-rooted emotional problems I had (and was unaware of). Sometimes, I wonder if we’ll ever get to the point where he’ll say to me, “You know what, Jeff, I don’t think you need to come here anymore.”
I don’t think it’s being unkind or overly cynical to suggest that those who recommend long-term therapy may be doing so, in part, because they benefit financially from prolonging the relationship. It’s true tha I may be being unfair to your therapist and only the two of you will ever know how beneficial his listening and advice has been to your dealing with your problems.
Each of us can carry self-reliance too far but I like the comment by the late writer/philosopher, Bertrand Russell: “Passive acceptance of the teacher’s wisdom … involves no effort of independent thought and seems rational because the teacher knows more than his pupils; it is moreover the way to win the favor of the teacher unless he is a very exceptional man. Yet the habit of passive acceptance is a disastrous one in later life. It causes man to seek and to accept a leader, and to accept as a leader whoever is established in that position.”
I tend to approach any kind of business service with the same cynicism, but I’d say that so far, he isn’t trying to milk me of my money. There are definite residual issues to be fixed or resolved. I would definitely start getting suspicious if I started to disagree with his assessments but he continued to push for more sessions.
They are useful, though, aren’t they? I’d have one for life if I could afford it.
Yes, they’re very useful. Hopefully, your therapist would be good enough that you’d have resolution at some point and wouldn’t need him for life though!
I’ve just started again and on a weekly basis — at least, when I make it or her schedule doesn’t call for a different planning. I am anxious that any kind of perspective she’ll bring to the party will uproot my handily crafted about-turns when I want to avoid, defer or negate any issues. I wish I was “more normal” and didn’t have to go.
Nowadays, I don’t think anyone is normal. It’s just whether or not we’re happy. Some of the most fucked up people I know don’t “need” therapy, and some of the nicest do. At the end of the day, it all comes down to whether or not we can live with ourselves.