As I was writ­ing notes for ther­a­py tomor­row¹, I was doing some research on life­traps and came across a short para­graph that cleared up every­thing for me to the point where I did­n’t feel like I need­ed to keep my appoint­ment. It was the answer I did­n’t even know I was look­ing for.

Now the feel­ing of empti­ness that’s fol­lowed me for so long is gone, and every­thing makes sense. I feel sta­ble again, though there’s still a hint of doubt because I’ve been here before but it’s nev­er been any­thing per­ma­nent.

I’m still going tomor­row so I can solid­i­fy my new-found under­stand­ing. I don’t think it’s going to be a reg­u­lar thing again, I just need the bit of guid­ance he gives me that lets me fix myself. I can’t explain how good it felt to make the appoint­ment, know­ing I had some­one with a pro­fes­sion­al edu­ca­tion and years of expe­ri­ence in this to give me an objec­tive view. My friends are always there to sup­port me, but they don’t make sense of the world for me the way my ther­a­pist does.

1. This is the first time I’ll be bring­ing notes, only because I’m try­ing to cov­er such a com­plex top­ic that I want to be sure I’m not miss­ing any­thing. [↩]