Know what I don’t get? Charlie Sheen’s sex appeal.

Know what I don’t get? Charlie Sheen’s sex appeal.
My ideas for presents are being foiled by what I can only explain as low market demand.
Sometimes, my sarcastic humour is so dry and subtle that people who don’t know me very well think I’m being serious. I try to say things that are so ridiculous they can only be taken as a joke, but it doesn’t always work. Example:
Yesterday, Jairus made pulled pork sandwiches (took him 8 hours!) that smelled soooo good they made me hungry, even though I had just eaten a huge dinner. As we were watching A Jihad For Love (about the coexistence of homosexuality and Islam), Jesse said, “Too bad these Muslims wouldn’t be able to enjoy this delicious pulled pork sandwich”. I said, “Oh, cause it’s pulled”, in a tone like I had just realized something, but what I thought was a joking manner. Everyone turned their heads at me, Ian said, “Cause it’s pork, yeah”, and he lingered on that yeah really slowly, like he was embarrassed for me, then everyone turned back to the TV. I’m pretty sure they all think I’m an idiot now, and that I thought Muslims have something against animals when they’re slow-cooked in vinegar sauce.
I’ve discovered a sure-fire way to make the gas prices drop: fill up the day before.
This night has been filled with great lines and witty retorts. Unfortunately, none of them from me.
Hi, how’s it going.
When talking about haircuts, I always say, “My stylist”. As soon as this comes out of my mouth, I wonder if this makes me sound snooty and pretentious. Most people seem to say, “hairdresser”, which I imagine is the same thing, with the former being a way to charge an extra $15–30 for a haircut. But the only reason why I say “stylist” is because that’s what the receptionists say (“…and what stylist would you like?”) when booking appointments. But stylists are so different from barbers, in my experience. And my stylist has gone for courses in the US, so I’m thinking this actually gives him the title.
I also say “chacun à son goût” when the phrase is appropriate. I wonder if this makes me sound pretentious too. The only reason why I say that instead of “each to his own taste” is because I learned the expression first in grade 8 French class. There was a picture of King Henry saying, “chacun a MON gout!”, as if he was famous for being in demanding king. Ever since, I relate the phrase to the French. Sometimes, I imagine I’m in late Imperial Russia, when French was considered the hallmark of a civilized society, so people threw in French phrases to impress people or fit in. I imagine myself saying, “Ho ho, mon cher, je méprise les femmes pour ne pas les aimer car autrement la vie serait un mélodrame trop ridicule”, while throwing my head back with dainty laugh.
Sometimes my nights are spent like this:

My favourite pastime at the moment is playing Flight Control while listening to music. I have a sort of running competition going with Pat (high score 99) and John (high score 67). So far I’ve been able to best their scores at 292, but now I’m trying to pad the victory even more, because Pat and John have as much of a healthy competitive streak as I do, and actually spend some extra effort trying to beat each other. So sometimes I’ll just sit down and put some music on and play. I’ve also tried cooking while playing, but my foods ends up getting burnt. There has also been some stand-up comedy listening while I play, but laughter always gets in the way of fine motor controls.
When I was younger, my parents owned a convenience store. It got held up a couple of times, late at night when my dad was working. He never talked about it, not because it was shocking, but because he didn’t care. Sometimes, I wonder how my dad felt with a gun pointed at him. One time they caught the three or four guys involved in one hold-up, and my dad had to go to court to testify. Somehow my dad handled it, but going through all of this would probably freak me out.
You know it’s been going hard lately when you Tai Chi teacher notices how tense and stiff you are during class.
Note to self: when going from Leonard Cohen to Slayer, be sure to turn the volume down first.
Official gmail push support for my iPhone! My life is complete!
Ever have to dry yourself off with a wet towel? It sucks.
You can tell it’s your lucky day when you grab a red Starburst and a red Lifesaver out of two different bags.
Eating cereal out of a glass cause you forgot your bowl at home is strangely unsatisfying.
It’s been busy. Side work is going well, and I try to do as much as I can on weeknights so I can have my weekends free.
It’s made for a rather hectic schedule, which is a welcome distraction at the moment. I feel great for being productive, and great for being able to relax. Time is flying. I can’t believe it’s past the middle of September already.
I use to bring my cameras with me everywhere, but now I find I’m taking fewer pictures. I want to be less of an observer/documentalist and more of a participator lately. I don’t want to miss out on living from worrying if I’m capturing everything as best as possible.
One of the things that’s helped me maintain my productivity is Things for my iPhone, which gives little alert badges on the things that are due. It’s a great motivator when you want to clear the alerts from your home screen.