A social experiment to get people to open up about themselves, because it’s our little idiosyncrasies that make us unique. Maybe people will learn that they’re not alone in their intimate ways as well. In the process, it’s also a way for me to open up more, as I seem to be too careful about watching what I say here in recent years, and not writing with the same honesty that used to characterize my entries.
For every person who adds a comment with the most private thing they’re willing to admit here, between now and Sunday night, I will (try) to add a private detail about myself. Include a name instead of remaining anonymous1, be as honest and open as possible, and only one “thing” per person please. I don’t have that many secrets. Or do I?
I’ll start everyone off with a bonus one:
I hate making my bed. I get it messy (I do a lot of tossing and turning) in another 16 hours, so I don’t see the point of making it. I clean my house in general when people are coming over because I want them to be comfortable, but the bed is a different story. The only reason why I make it is because I feel self-conscious about it, not because I care if it makes my guests feel more comfortable. This makes me feel like a phony.
- Without some sort of identity to bind a detail to, there’s no point to the experiment. [↑]
I can’t think of anything I would share here that I didn’t already on my own blog.
ummm pooping is awesome?
Oh come on! The idea is to admit here what you can’t admit on your own blog. I will reluctantly accept your submission, since it’s first, so here’s mine:
I agree that pooping is awesome. Sometimes I wait and hold in the poop for as long as possible, because good poops give me poo-phoria. This works much better at home than at work, when the stalls may be occupied and I run the risk of shitting my pants.
I don’t hold it for that reason, but it is pretty awesome. Ahh the joy of pooping!
I think if there is something I wouldn’t share on my blog, I wouldn’t share it anywhere else online either since my blog is where I feel the most safe, surrounded by all my other posts.
Were I to admit something horribly private here, all on it’s own, it would be naked stripped of it’s context and even more horrifying.
Here’s something that I would put on my blog but never did. I was convinced my ex was capital e Evil and that at some point in the future, had we remained together, it would be my duty to kill him to save humanity.
I used to have dreams and visions about this. I started feeling drawn to certain churches and certain ominous places. I found symbolism in almost everything in regards to this. It really felt like the universe was guiding me to that. This went on for a while after we broke up and eventually they stopped. I don’t know what to make of it now.
Was I going crazy in a bad relationship or was I being guided by the hand of ‘god’?
I agree that it’s easier to share things on your own blog, but the point is for people to feel unsafe together. This is an exercise like in The Breakfast Club, when Emilio Estivez gets asked what he would do for a million dollars, and he says, “Well, I guess I’d do as little as I had to…”, and Molly Ringwald says, “That’s boring. The idea is to like search your mind for the absolute limit.” But you have redeemed yourself with your speak of past religious visions that made you seem sort of like Joan of Arc.
I think you were going crazy in a bad relationship. Hopefully this is true, and your ex doesn’t become the leader of the Fourth Reich.
I hug either my penguins or my girlfriend’s bear to sleep and hold on to them tightly until morning because it’s the only physical comfort I have right now. Some night’s its not enough because nothing beats a warm touch of someone you care about next to you. When that happens, there is always the knife and that’s the only comfort I can give myself at this point.
Good one. I like how you have penguins, and your avatar is a penguin too. Here’s mine:
I sleep with three pillows. One for my head, and two are hug pillows (one full body on the left, one king sized on the right) that I keep right against my body, and it started out as a way for me to feel less lonely when I slept at night. I used to have only one small one, but it kept getting bigger, and then I added a second. I find it hard to sleep without them now, or at least without something right up against my stomach and between my knees (I think it’s because my knees are bony and uncomfortable against each other — even if I’m spooning someone, I put a pillow between my knees). If I’m sleeping at a friend’s house, I have to bunch up the blankets and use that instead. When camping, I use a coat.
This is gross, and besides my husband, you’re the only person (plus your readers) who will know this:
For the last two months or so, my pee has started to smell really pungent. Like honey turkey sandwiches. I don’t know what it is. I cut out coffee, most cheeses, white bread, bleached wheat, fatty foods, and refined sugar from my diet and I’m trying to drink more water. I’m a vegetarian. I take multi vitamins regularly. I exercise. I eat my fruits and veggies. No matter how much or how little water I drink or how healthy I eat in a day, my urine smells like turkey. Some days it’s almost as pungent as a fart.
It makes me embarrassed to go to the bathroom. I wait until my bladder is about to burst or my rectum is about to prolapse, because I’m afraid someone will enter the bathroom at the same time I do, smell my pee, and then think my vagina is dirty or I don’t shower after sex, or something. If that time comes when I’m on the toilet and someone else comes in, I sit and wait until everyone has left the bathroom before I come out, so no one will know it was me who left the turkey smell in stall 3. It’s embarrassing and terrible.
And that’s my secret. I can’t believe I said it…
Way to raise the bar!
Multi-vitamins can definitely turn your pee yellow, but not necessarily make it smell funny. Honey turkey sandwiches is so specific…hahahahh. Reminds me of that scene in Tropic Thunder, when Robert Downey Jr. is pretending to pee, and he turns around and says, “That smelled just like bologna for some reason.” Okay, here’s mine:
I find it really hard to go #2 in public bathrooms because I feel too self-conscious. If someone is in the stall next to me, I have to wait until they leave. So what I do sometimes is bring my headphones with me, and watch an episode of 30 Rock on my iPhone. As long as I don’t hear the person next to me, or myself, I can do my business. It’s like for some reason, if I can’t hear a deuce hitting the water, then the other person can’t either. I know this makes no sense, but it works for me.
Get your kidney functions checked by a doctor. You may have the beginning of a bigger problem and it needs to be nipped in the bud.
I’ve hardly ever commented on Jeff’s site and there are very good reasons for that. However, he’s asked me to try to comment on this entry so I’ll give it a shot.
I’ve sat here for 5 minutes trying to think of something and I’ve realized that I’m terribly inhibited.…not because of the public nature of this forum but because I know many of the people who read this site and am not inclined to embarrass myself or overly expose myself to them. therefore my exposition will be brief and meager as that is all I’m willing to do. Call me up tight but that’s the side of my nature an experiment such as this exposes.
I hate talking on the phone.
It shows. Most of my telephone conversations are brief and meager just like this exposure and I’m always screwing my conversations up because I just want them to end(come to the point) and I come across as rude and the other party gets offended. All too often I find that the other party derives their satisfaction from the conversation itself whereas I see most conversations on the phone as a means to the end. An exchange of useful information. I’ve had several conversations like that today and they have been quite satisfying/productive. The vast majority of conversations that I have that are fun in and of themselves for some reason occur face to face. I don’t know why that is but that’s been my observation.
This has actually be quite embarrassing for me if only because it demonstrates just how soft core I am. Apologies. I feel as though I’ve completely failed this test and added to your experiment only by showing how unwilling I am to share. you ought to share something equally shallow in response.
You’re right, that was pathetic! And you do suck on the phone. Our phone calls are pretty much just catching up on news; there’s never any shooting of the shit. So here’s mine that’s equally soft core (but still something I wouldn’t usually admit):
I get really nervous when doing something new, like ordering a type of meat I’ve never ordered before at a Chinese butcher, or going to a car wash (had to for the first time this year), or asking for a product at a store. Even if it’s really simple (or maybe because it’s really simple), I get worried that I’ll screw it up somehow, and I won’t know what to do or ask and end up looking like an idiot. If I got into a car accident, I’d probably be more worried that I wouldn’t know what to do (in terms of insurance, exchanging information, when to call the police, etc.), than about being injured. Sometimes, I marvel at your ability to walk into any situation, even when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing or what’s going on, and not be uncomfortable or nervous.
Me too about the car accident bit…more worried that I wouldn’t know what to do than about being injured.
Funny, John sounds so Asian :)
That’s funny, I think he sounds exactly like a lawyer!
I’m in a functional relationship right now, though my boyfriend is in Australia and I’m in Malaysia. But whenever the topic of marriage comes up (either between the two of us, or among my friends or relatives), or even near enough to be brought up, I always find myself changing the topic.
So, I think I have commitment phobia. You know, pretty much like Meredith in Grey’s Anatomy :) I don’t know if this is valid, but my parents were separated when I was 9 years old.
Hmmm…did it start out as long distance? Are you using it as a way to keep a sort of commitment distance? I think I’m the opposite of a commitment-phobe because my parents had such a bad marriage, and I want to be sure that it works for me. Okay, here’s mine:
Even though I’m interested in purchasing a firearm for sport shooting, I’d never do it. I used to have suicidal thoughts that still pop up in my head every now and then (though nowhere near as severe or scary), and I’m worried that if one day these thoughts got the better of me and I had a gun, I’d be easy access to a way out without a way back. I know if I was really suicidal I’d find a way to kill myself, but I don’t want to make it easy, so that if I had to do it, I’d have to figure out how and hopefully change my mind by the time I did.
Nope, it didn’t start out this way. He went to Australia last year to do his Ph.D.
People always go “wow” over how well we function despite being so far apart, but truth is, you can also do it, if you aren’t thinking about marriage, LOL.
I always have to have a conversation with myself first that I am going to have to have with someone else, especially if its going to be a serious/confrontational one. I HATE confrontation or anything even related to it so i have to have the conversation with myself first to try to weigh out all of the what ifs and possible responses. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing but I usually do it while I’m driving in my car listening to music because its when I can think the clearest so it makes for some pretty interesting looks from people at red lights because it’s usually pretty obvious that I’m talking to myself. :-/
On a side note, have you ever listened to Owl City? You might like them and you might not, just thought I would share there name.
I do tend to sing and dance in my car a lot. I always watch out at red lights though, because I’ve been caught singing or dancing one too many times. I’ve never heard of Owl City, but I’ll look them up. Okay, here’s mine:
I shadow box or shadow Tai Chi in the shower. There are a few moves that especially seem to work in the limited space, like single whip. I try to punch the ceramic tiles with as much precision and control as possible, so as hard as I can while stopping right when I touch the tile. Sometimes, I worry that one day I’ll make a mistake, and put a hole in my wall.
I will admit a couple
At work, 90% og the time i honestly dont care what females are saying and if i am engaged in a conversation, its only to be polite or socializing to increase my chances of having sex.
Truth is i wouldnt have sex with 9/10 women at work, even if i have masturbated to them.
Good one. It’s a little late, but I’ll give you one of mine anyway:
Sometimes, when I know I’m going to have sex, I drink more water beforehand cause it makes my orgasms way better.
I masturbate a lot and I am looking for a way to stop it. Even if my girlfriend is in the next room, i still look for a way to do that shit. How can I stop this?
You’re not alone. Porn addicted too.
i think about a sexual experience that i have had every night before i go to sleep.
that’s embarrassing.
i think about how i can hit a tree at 65 miles an hour every time i am driving. sometimes i have to swerve my car off of the road a little to convince myself that i am actually in control of it.
i scare myself by doing so.
@ kasi west: David Cronenberg’s Crash — sex in car crashes.
I can’t stand people touching my keyboard and mouse at work. Just tell me “where it is” or “how to do it” and let me do it. If they do touch my keyboard and mouse, I’ll secretly get up get some hand sanitizer to wipe down my workstation minutes later.
@urb:
thank you for the movie reccomendation. much appreciated. i will have to watch it soon.
I’m 17 & I have been waking up to touching myself. I find it funny but it would be kinda embarrasing if I did it while my boyfriend was sleeping next to me, even though he’d probably laugh at me. idk, it’s just really weird, I play with myself alot almost everytime I’m alone. do you think it’s my dreams or I’m just addicted to masturbating? :)
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to straight up puke on whoever I’m talking to. I know… thats f-ed up! Not that I can even make myself puke, or that it would feel good. It’s just one of those odd thoughts that makes no sense. Its not even the visual, its the concept.