Often, when some­one thanks me, I find myself say­ing “Don’t men­tion it” or “No need to thank me”. Yet when some­one doesn’t thank me for a favour, I feel like I’m being taken advan­tage of.

It’s a funny thing that I feel like a thank-you is unnec­es­sary only after some­one has said it. Maybe it’s because as long as the per­son appre­ci­ates the favour, that’s all that matters.

It’s sim­i­lar to the way Pat once offered to let me stay with him and Jen if I ever find myself with­out a job and a house. I’d prob­a­bly never take him up on the offer because I never want to be a bur­den any­one. At the same time, he knows this and doesn’t expect me to take him up on it, but he offered any­way because he knows I wouldn’t take it for granted, and would still be happy to take me in if the sit­u­a­tion war­ranted it.

Perhaps such acts become more of an acknowl­edg­ment than a prac­ti­cal ges­ture. As long as I know that some­one is appre­cia­tive and rec­og­nizes a favour, that’s all that mat­ters. But really, isn’t that what a thank you is — an acknowl­edg­ment through thanks? At the same time, with­out a thank you, how would we know that some­one is appre­cia­tive?

It’s like the act itself is simul­ta­ne­ously nec­es­sary and unnecessary.