equivocality — Jeff Ngan's collection of thoughts, experiences, and projects, inspired by pretty much everything
Me @ Twitter

A record three ibupro­fens in one day. Now for sleep and Ghost fuck­ing World.

4 years, 10 months ago
Me @ Twitter

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW

4 years, 10 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Going to see off Frederic and Misun at the train sta­tion. The first part of their migra­tion to France.

4 years, 10 months ago
31 May 09

Protected: Take This Longing

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Me @ Twitter

Discovering that my social life is being lim­ited by my col­i­tis, in terms of stay­ing up or out.

4 years, 10 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Finally get to give Dan the present I’ve been want­ing to give him for years now.

4 years, 11 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Sushi lunch with a Korean family.…loving the irony.

4 years, 11 months ago
Me @ Twitter

In Quebec, tak­ing pic­tures of one of Frederic’s metal sculp­tures for him.

4 years, 11 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Just had tea with the Canadian ambas­sador to Afghanistan.

4 years, 11 months ago
Me @ Twitter

In past expe­ri­ences, lawyers fre­quently talk about things only they under­stand. This is being proven again tonight.

4 years, 11 months ago
29 May 09

Goodbye Karaoke Party

Frédéric, Misun, and the boys are mov­ing to France to explore a new busi­ness ven­ture. To say good­bye to every­one, they rented out a karaoke bar and had a party. The night was a cacoph­ony of sound, for the kids were given free reign of the dance floor and ran around in cir­cles, while the adults took turns singing and eating.

This is my first “5x5”; a video of five vignettes at five sec­onds each. It’s a help­ful guide­line for putting together footage that doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily have a con­sis­tent theme. It’s also very restric­tive, as five sec­onds is barely enough to see what’s going on in a par­tic­u­lar clip, and that means you really have to find the essence of action. I gen­er­ally don’t make 5x5s because I always have a story to tell, but in this case, it’s fun just to see how peo­ple sing. This is very dif­fer­ent from the Chinese karaoke par­ties I was wit­ness to as a kid, where the adults take their singing very seri­ously, so every­one is very quiet, atten­tive, and quite rehearsed.

The one who stole the show was Akio, who had heard Frédéric, Misun start­ing a duet of Ne Me Quitte Pas, took the micro­phone from Misun, and started repeat­ing the line he had just learned.

I told Frédéric, “It’s amaz­ing that you’re not ner­vous up there”, and he told me, “I just said to myself that I want to have fun, and it wouldn’t be fun if I didn’t sing, so I wasn’t ner­vous.” I wish I could do that.

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Me @ Twitter

Don’t feel like going to Tai Chi tonight. Why? I’m wear­ing my new pajama bot­toms. THAT’S how comfy they are.

4 years, 11 months ago
28 May 09

When Will The Devil Take Me?

It hasn’t stopped rain­ing since I woke up this morn­ing, and now it’s dark, with only the street­lamps and their reflec­tions in the pud­dles for light. It’s cold outside.

This is a good thing.

I feel like the epony­mous char­ac­ter in Onegin. Sitting on the bal­cony in the dead of win­ter, wait­ing for a let­ter. His ser­vant, hand­ing him a stemmed glass of vodka, asks him to come inside because it’s cold. “I like the cold” he replies, as he resigns him­self to his fate.

He walks down the streets of Saint Petersburg, and his motif comes in on the piano, fol­lowed by strings. FADE TO BLACK.

A stoic face to the world. Can I say stoic? I like stoic.

These titles are get­ting harder and harder to write.

And I want to say that I’m melan­choly, but I’m not. But I’m not giddy either. My emo­tions aren’t black and white. They’re a mix­ture of ups and down. I don’t know what to say when I don’t know what I’m feel­ing or what comes next.

I’m just wait­ing. Passive. Yielding.

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Me @ Twitter

Is it pos­si­ble to go out for pho with­out buy­ing bub­ble tea after? Maybe, but it sure is hard.

4 years, 11 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Going for pho with Aaron and Trolley. Hoping to make it a reg­u­lar thing.

4 years, 11 months ago