equivocality — Jeff Ngan's collection of thoughts, experiences, and projects, inspired by pretty much everything
Me @ Twitter

So tempted to sleep with the win­dows open so I can hear the rain, but it’s too cold out­side, even with a duvet.

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Awesome class. Exercises are even more fun when we don’t have a chance to do them regularly.

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

It’s quite pos­si­ble that tulips are more beau­ti­ful when they’re dead.

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Need to hurt. Grabbing a wolf by the ears.

5 years, 3 months ago
30 Apr 09

Protected: Self Medication

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Me @ Twitter

A solid bm! Doing my happy dance.

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Teeth clean­ing went so late that I missed another doc­u­men­tary night. :(

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Eating a banana before every meal. Hoping this will keep things solid. Especially before my den­tist appoint­ment and doc­u­men­tary night.

5 years, 3 months ago
29 Apr 09

Revealing Words

A reader recently sent me an e-mail. This was the last paragraph:

Lastly and please don’t take this as being bold, I want to keep read­ing and one day read that you are noth­ing but happy and ful­filled. I would never post a com­ment because I am too shy and also pretty prone to being embar­rassed by peo­ple who are cooler than me (and I con­sider peo­ple who blog as peo­ple who are cooler then me), but many times when I read your entries I feel like I am watch­ing a pro­tag­o­nist in a favourite movie or re-reading Siddhartha. Does that make any sense to you? I’m cheer­ing you on and I’m in your corner.

It made me won­der: if she wants to read that I’m happy one day, does that mean that I’m not happy now? It forced the real­iza­tion in me that the answer is no. Obviously no. Life isn’t great. But do I only write about the bad stuff? I’ve always believed that you have to suf­fer to cre­ate. I’m one of those, so maybe this is the case. I imag­ine it’s the oppo­site with my Tai Chi or table ten­nis part­ners, who must think my life is per­fect, because of how happy I am when I’m doing those activities.

It also made me won­der how much of myself is revealed here. Someone once told me that she sees two dif­fer­ent sides of me: one who is seri­ous and intim­i­dat­ing from the things I write, and another who is easy-going and relaxed over the phone.

So what comes through in my words? Certainly not every­thing. But it’s the same as any­thing else, because it’s hard to get a total pic­ture of some­one, unless, per­haps, you spend an appro­pri­ately uncom­fort­able amount of time with them.

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Me @ Twitter

Note to self: cin­na­mon is spicy. Spice irri­tates col­i­tis. Therefore, cin­na­mon candy may KILL YOU.

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Ate super care­fully today…there’s no way I’m miss­ing two Tai Chi classes in a row.

5 years, 3 months ago
28 Apr 09

Protected: Sweet Nothings

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Me @ Twitter

Put on my PJ pants instead of my khakis by mis­take. This is my sub­con­scious telling me I don’t want to go in to work today.

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

So hard to set a steady pace for solo Tai Chi form prac­tice when you’ve just lis­tened to the lat­est Dream Theater album.

5 years, 3 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Super pro­duc­tiv­ity mode. Desk is finally cleaned off, papers are out of the way, time to get all the mis­cel­la­neous lit­tle things done.

5 years, 3 months ago