Comments on: Finding Love For Two Bachelors

By: pelf

pelf — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 05:06:44 +0000

EXACTLY, Jeff. Exactly. LOL.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 00:16:49 +0000

You make an important distinction there. Although, I always pictured both as being dependent on each other. But whereas you can’t get both in the same package, I haven’t been able to find either yet.

By: Xibee

Xibee — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:39:30 +0000

The question is what you mean by “work.” If you mean love remaining thriving and growing between two people through their many years of change, or if you mean long-term stability with an assurance of a good environment for, say, children.

Frankly I can’t seem to get both of those two concepts in the same package no matter what I’ve done. Ever.

I still want to believe it’s possible though.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 06:03:14 +0000

The funny thing is that some of the marriages that weren’t arranged haven’t worked out. So how are the arranged ones supposed to work, when the ones who were free to choose have ended in divorce? Or maybe that’s why they think arranged marriages work; our relatives know us better than we know ourselves.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 06:01:31 +0000

You’re absolutely right that keeping love is the harder part; as people grow and change with time, it’s like you’re not with the same person anymore.

My approach to relationships is a little different, probably because of my childhood experiences; it certainly is just as long and lonely a route, but as you say, much stronger in the end. I think we’re able to appreciate the relationships that work because they’re so much more difficult for us to find or maintain.

By: pelf

pelf — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:31:14 +0000

Don’t forget that these people (your older relatives) are survivors of marriages arranged by their parents. So to them, if they could survive getting married to people they (probably) didn’t like, why would it be difficult these days, when we could choose whoever we like?

It’s funny that way :)

By: Edrei

Edrei — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:54:05 +0000

Finding love can be easy, depending on your definition for love. Keeping love is the harder part, no matter what you believe in. But we already know each others stances on love. You wanting it to exist in your life, me, not believing it should be the basis for a healthy relationship.

You can’t control love any more than you can control the way other people think. That’s why to me, it’s hard because I never had anything obvious to win people over to begin with (looks, money, status, etc). I always took the long with relationships and maybe at the end of the day, that’s the most rewarding, most satisfying way to build one, even though, it’s the most lonely road to go.