19 Jan 09
Sometimes, she reaches down and grabs a handful of my derrière. I laugh a nervous laugh, and she chides me.
It’s a reflex. None of my girlfriends have been so zealous in their pinching, or reveled in such an act. My laugh is one of surprise, and a good one at that.
This is what upsets her. But how should I react otherwise? I hardly consider this thin-framed body, a frail comparison to the physical conventions of a man, as being sexual or attractive.
This is why I think she loves me.
Otherwise, she’d see me as the rest of the world sees me.
You got it!
Are you nuts? You are totally dapper and handsome!
Dapper…I never thought of my style that way, but I totally agree now that I think about it. Thanks!
How could you possibly even assume to know what the world thinks of you?
I assume only based on past experiences and what people have said to me.
Boo Hiss! you are lovely and you should know it by now.
And that is what she sees. All your loveliness.
What past experience must teach you is that everyone is a critic, and that it really doesn’t matter and that’s why it is a past experience.
I can’t believe that no one has grabbed your booty before. Just revel in the feeling of such passion!
On top of that, I think we’re our own worst critics too. But you’re right, it’s called a past experience, and I should just care about the moment.
I do have it admit, it’s a good feeling!
Come come, we’ve been flattering you here for over a couple of years. Don’t you know you’re cute YET?
I guess not. There has been some psychological damage done my parents.
I love this entry.
I think that I kind of understand what you meant in a previous post about how you’ve changed your writing, or how you go about it (maybe?)but I still believe, maybe naively so, that the very core and beauty that you are able to capture in writing is not something that you can fully rule. It’s just there.
But then again, at the same time I experience that there’s a significant difference between your posts – there’s the ones where the, let’s call it ‘artistic flow’, is “on” and then there’s the ones where it’s not so much. Where it’s just different, the language and flow is more from A to B sort of writing. But this difference also makes it possible to relate to you and the very subject, it’s depth maybe, even though it’s through my own and personal (as always, death of the author etc) interpretation of your words, videos or photographs. I love that too though, that your initial ideas behind your words and entries cease to exist or become blurry once you invite the world to take part of it. There’s just something lovely about that whole process, at least to me.
But then again, that’s only my interpretation and maybe I am losing myself somewhere inbetween interpretation and translation. I’m not completely sure.
A bit off topic, but it had to be said. Maybe someday I will even answer your question about my dream. But for now, this is all I could come up with!
It’s always nice to get an outside perspective on my writing, a long-term one especially. I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees (and appreciates) it.
You’ve helped me realize that the core of certain writing can’t be fully ruled is what makes it what it is. I should learn to appreciate it when it comes, instead of trying to find it or control it.
Thank you for your insight.