There Is No Such Thing As Love

Let me give it to you straight, straight like an arrow.

I’ve had these words stuck in my head for some time now. Lyrics from the tit­u­lar Dears track I first heard in uni­ver­sity, back when I would go home in the sum­mer and watch The Wedge on Friday nights.

I know that’s awfully cyn­i­cal to say, but I need proof that it is pos­si­ble today.

I just wish I could accept that fact. I’m start­ing to won­der if that’s why I keep hear­ing the words in my head. It’s my sub­con­scious remind­ing me, keep­ing me grounded.

Maybe that’s why we watch these movies. Hollywood would have us believe that love exists.

It’s the same story, where guy sees girl, falls in love, and hap­pily ever after. In between, there’s always the overused plot ele­ment of the guy win­ning over the girl by reveal­ing him­self and his feel­ings. After all, this alone is enough to win any girl over, regard­less of whether she found him attrac­tive or not, she was mar­ried or sin­gle, or he was the nerd and she was the cheerleader.

But love doesn’t exist in real life, as much as I want to believe that it does.

Not for me, anyway.


  1. My sub­con­scious is just as cyn­i­cal. But then I try to ground myself with real­ity and look at my par­ents who’ve been mar­ried for over 40 years. Now and then I see them hold­ing hands, now and then I see them com­plain­ing about each other. But they miss each other when one has to leave town for a while.

    Yeah, Hollywood edits out all the argu­ments and dif­fi­cul­ties. Those who are most impor­tant to you are going to make you feel the entire spec­trum of human emo­tion. So maybe ask­ing if there’s such a thing called Love is the wrong question.

    Because when it comes down to it, is this per­son worth hav­ing in your life?

  2. Love is noth­ing but an unpro­duc­tive waste of time, it creeps into the crevices of your heart, mind and soul.
    It is a plague that haunts those of whom might not be aware. Individualism is the way to self-actualization, and self-awareness. If love really exists why do we have crime, why do coun­tries go to war? Let’s face the music once in awhile, and see that love is social pro­pa­ganda that has been passed down from sev­eral gen­er­a­tions. People would rather believe in some­thing filled with total sim­plic­ity as the say­ing goes “hap­pily ever after?” Such an abun­dance of fool­ish words! The only peo­ple stu­pid enough to believe any of that crap are the ones that never ques­tion any­thing. The only per­son that you will ever need in your life is your­self. Everyone acts like it is a must have, but there are no real ben­e­fits to this so-called love.

  3. Ray, thank you so much for your com­ment. The spell has been bro­ken. Loving some­one has wasted five years of my life. From this moment on, no more time will be spent unpro­duc­tively. Love is an illu­sion that always burns out, because it never existed to begin with!

  4. Your wel­come Natalie, I recently came across some nen­e­fits of this, it saves more money, and allows you to devote more time to our jobs for that one project as well. ‘Love,’ is some­thing that has found its way into our arts and media. Upon research as to prov the inex­is­tence of roman­tic love, it was cre­ated by French Troubadores over 800 years ago. All the evi­dence is out there, and see­ing that love has no pre-defined def­i­n­i­tion, it fur­ther proves that it just sim­ply isn’t there. But its evi­dent that peo­ple like to make believe and prentend that the inex­is­tent is existent.

    • *ben­e­fits*

  5. Why am I con­sumed with anger over some­thing that never existed? I was betrayed by some­one whom I so-called loved. Anyone have any thoughts on how to get over feel­ing betrayed over some­thing that doesn’t exist? What causes us to feel hor­ri­ble after a rela­tion­ship ends? I no longer believe in love and I will never put myself through this pain again. I just don’t know how to make it stop now. I have obses­sive thoughts fol­lowed by anger and sad­ness. It has been an end­less cycle for months now. How can a word that does not exist cause so much destruc­tion in ones life?

  6. When you get use to some­one and your brain records it for many years and that per­son burns you it sucks..

    I was in the same boat Natalie.. But I caught the prick she cheated on me with. Couldn’t believe it was a much older man.. Lmao. So it was more about the love of money then so called love… The best way to get over some­one is to get the hell out of your envi­ron­ment if you can.. Go on a vaca­tion or 2.. It def­i­nitely will help.…

  7. Buff has given some great advice, kudos to you on a job well done. I would how­ever, start to think about more pos­i­tive things, like your future. The more you do things like that, the sooner you will end the painful aspects of your past.

  8. The world has taken on a new shape. Cannot believe the change that I am see­ing!!!! FAME is Measured by Money that most of these so called celebrity types aren’t even celebri­ties but they get the recog­ni­tion as if they are and their a bunch of dumb asses.. And Now that we had a 2 term pres­i­dent who was more inter­ested in his own fame then tak­ing on a respon­si­bil­ity he couldn’t or doesn’t care about any­thing but mak­ing mid­dle class peo­ple into poor peo­ple we see even a big­ger change in peo­ple jump­ing on the money train.… All I can say is good luck to all the manip­u­la­tors out there… We’re liv­ing in a pill pop­ping soci­ety where any­thing goes.. TRUST is a must.… Trust is Earned… If you ever find that per­son you have fun with. you bet­ter find out who she or he was before you take another chance… Look them up before you give them too much time in your head. Or call me and I’ll inves­ti­gate them.. Lol. I’ve become very effi­cient at find­ing out who peo­ple are.…. IF its worth it to you.. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! Stupid is is a stu­pid does! Lmao. Thanks Forest!

  9. Thank you both for your advice. Unfortunately, I have to wait two months before I can use it. It is a long story, but I’m basi­cally house­bound in his home. I’m stay­ing in a guest room that is detached from the main house, but I still have to see him every day.

    I don’t believe this deplorable phi­lan­derer has ever been loyal to any­one in his life. Loyalty and trust mean every­thing to me. I would never be unfaith­ful. If I was unhappy with a rela­tion­ship I would give the per­son I’m with enough respect to talk to them about it. I would never cheat on some­one. Despite him being forty-three years older than me, I remained loyal to him for five years; how­ever, he was not loyal to me.

    My intu­ition told me he had been unfaith­ful. I wanted proof, so I got a hold of his phone and was able to go back through four years of infor­ma­tion. I found out that in August of 2010 he was on a cruise with another women, two weeks before I told him about the preg­nancy. When I told him about it, he demanded I get an abor­tion. That was not an option. It took him a long time to just accept I was hav­ing his child. He con­tin­ued hav­ing rela­tions with the other women dur­ing my preg­nancy. He was in Vegas with her while I was in labor with his son. That phi­lan­der­ing SOB told me he was with his good friend Scott. If it wasn’t for tech­nol­ogy I would have never fig­ured this out. Love tech­nol­ogy! I mean I appre­ci­ate technology.

    When I con­fronted him with this infor­ma­tion he said, ” she meant noth­ing to me and you are the only one I love”. LOL!!!! He wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He thinks he is going to use these eight weeks to gain back my faith and trust in him. I could never let that hap­pen. He is nearly sev­enty. He is never going to change, not at this point in his life.

    My anger and resent­ment towards him is hard to con­tain. I’m mad at myself for ever trust­ing him. How do I get through the eight weeks with the least amount of con­flict? How do I dis­cour­age him from pur­su­ing Me? Please help!

  10. You’re wel­come Natalie, sit­u­a­tions like these are obvi­ously very stress­ful and frus­trat­ing. To fur­ther andwer your ques­tion, try to avoid him as often as you can. I’m sure that’s eas­ier said than done, but try and see if he has a timed rou­tine, or pat­tern in which he does pat­t­ernized activ­i­ties. List these events, and keep it as close to you as you can. Ising this list might reduce the amount of times you see him.

  11. I am 58 years old and still don’t know what love is. You find some­one you “think” you want to be with and it’s good for a while,then every­thing goes wrong. You can’t do any­thing that brings you plea­sure. You aren’t aloud to go any­where with­out being accused of doing some­thing wrong. Its like being in prison with no porow.

  12. II love to be open to real­ity, there goes that word, but what are we going to do with the words, for God so loved the world that He gave His only begot­ten Son that who­ever would believe will not per­ish but have eter­nal life. So is it safe to say there is no God, He is sup­pose to be love, and he is sup­pose to be every­where, yet I don’t feel, taste or see this love nowhere. This is a very con­fus­ing world in which we live in.

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