equivocality — Jeff Ngan's collection of thoughts, experiences, and projects, inspired by pretty much everything
Me @ Twitter

I won­der if my ex-mom thinks I’m try­ing to com­mu­ni­cate with her when I write about her.

4 years, 6 months ago
30 Dec 09

Autopilot

Cohen and MacBook Pro

I’m cur­rently on autopi­lot. Doing with­out think­ing, and just being.

It’s a strange feel­ing because I’ve been try­ing to get to this level where I’m no longer con­scious of try­ing to be at this level1. It’s a recur­sive night­mare. But now that I’ve been here for a few days, I’m not sure if I like it. I can’t tell if it’s because I’m not used to it, because I feel like I’m miss­ing some­thing, or because I feel way too overstimulated.

I tried to sched­ule a day of rest, aka me time, aka her­mi­tiz­ing in my house, in between every event, but that didn’t work out. I won’t have a sin­gle day to myself until the 3rd of January. I was hop­ing for a hol­i­day where I could sit and do noth­ing for two days in a row, just so it’d be like a long week­end at least. I’ve been try­ing to cel­e­brate because I fin­ished my con­tracts early, but I sup­pose these last few days have been enough of a treat, even if it’s left me with­out any time to with­draw and reflect.

One day I woke up at Darren’s house, went down­stairs, turned on the TV, and Serendipity had just started. I remem­ber watch­ing this generic hol­i­day dri­vel set in a New York Christmas at Vicky’s house back when I was in uni­ver­sity. It was def­i­nitely Christmas back then cause I was back home in Toronto, before my par­ents divorced, and we went to house par­ties as a fam­ily. It was it’s own lit­tle serendip­i­tous sign, remind­ing me the hol­i­days were here, and I should take it all in for a second.

  1. Croupier, star­ring Clive Owen, is com­pletely based on this idea. Go see it. []
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Me @ Twitter

I bit my lip when try­ing to do an impres­sion of an old man. While alone in my house. It doesn’t get any sad­der than this.

4 years, 6 months ago
Me @ Twitter

You know you’re in hol­i­day mode when you haven’t show­ered for three days and you’re okay with that. Also, break­fast at 3pm.

4 years, 6 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Found a LAN party in the unlike­li­est of places.

4 years, 6 months ago
28 Dec 09

agoraphobia vs. Avatar

agoraphobia vs. Avatar

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Me @ Twitter

THAT was my revenge. #equiv­o­cal­ity

4 years, 6 months ago
Me @ Twitter

Is it just me or is sep­a­rat­ing pome­gran­ate fruit from the rind more sat­is­fy­ing than eat­ing it?

4 years, 6 months ago
28 Dec 09

Tattoo Interview

Lydia Skinner inter­views me for her dis­ser­ta­tion, enti­tled, “Why words? An Analysis into Typographic Tattoos as a form Communication, and Projection of Identity.”


Read the rest of this entry »

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Me @ Twitter

THUMBS ONLY HAVE TWO JOINTS #MINDESSPLOSION

4 years, 6 months ago
Me @ Twitter

You know you’re a nerd when you travel with you travel with your wrist brace. #ashamed

4 years, 6 months ago
Me @ Twitter

On a long drive in con­spic­u­ous weather with Bruce Springsteen’s Nebraska album. The stark album cover fits the jour­ney perfectly.

4 years, 7 months ago
Me @ Twitter

I like how the indi­vid­u­ally wrapped Numa Simply Mint tea bag instruc­tions begin with, “While hum­ming, bring fresh water to a boil…”.

4 years, 7 months ago
26 Dec 09

Ryan's First Birthday

A video I shot as a Christmas present for Aaron and Karen. This was the first day I tried my “poor man’s steady­cam”, and aside from a few shaky shots from fid­dling around while try­ing to cap­ture every­thing, the pan­ning works very well.

I was think­ing about sav­ing the video for when Ryan gets mar­ried, but fig­ured I may be dead before that hap­pens, so I decided to give it to them now. There are so many notes in the pro­duc­tion of the video that I feel like I need a 10-minute direc­tors com­men­tary to cover all the details. Alas, I’ll leave the insight up to the viewer.

How can so many peo­ple love one lit­tle boy? It seems almost impossible.

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Me @ Twitter

I won­der if John real­izes I always meet his avail­abil­ity with effu­sive enthu­si­asm. It’s like I’m his dog.

4 years, 7 months ago