By now, I’ll have spent twice as much time on this bus than in class.
Through the windows, the world is streaked and muddy, and it looks like god has turned on the lights outside, it’s so bright. These goosebumps aren’t from the cold. It’s the music, loud and full in the ears, that shivers.
The homeless ask for quarters with an apology for interrupting your music. It’s as if the cold has turned their bitterness to desperation, and we get a little politeness in return. No sign of my lost girl, just a man in her spot with too many bags, a frumpy hat, and two old paperbacks that he never opens.
My socks are soaked through at the ankles, and all I can think of is how good it’ll feel to peel them off and jump in the shower. Or how good my wonton soup will taste when I eventually get home. Or how convenient it’ll be to just take off and drive next time, instead of waiting outside for the bus.
I may be wet and cold, but I’m going somewhere nice. That’s enough to keep the spirit warm.
I don’t do this often enough.
Yeah.
I miss being alone, simply alone and not having an idea or having to do anything or be anywhere. Just be.
Sometimes, you have to force yourself to do it. If there wasn’t a major snowfall or I had winter tires, I probably wouldn’t have done it myself.
I think that’s the largest thing industrialized society steals from us.
We end up fitting into a greater commerical schedule and even when we go on vacation, there’s a feeling we’re never really able to part with someone else’s plan for us. The freedom to just SIT and write for while; or even to just follow the rhythm of seasons, (like having a mad panic harvest time or a sleepy winter snow day) just doesn’t exist anymore. We’re just supposed to march off to the same bells every day, every day.
At least it makes us value what times we can manage to steal.
Very true about the vacation. I’m always worried that something at work is breaking, and they won’t be able to fix it without me there. Valuing the time we have almost works backwards for me, because I’m thinking there’s something better that I should be doing, either because it’s more efficient or more fun.
You have been invited to The 1st Annual Ottawa Blogger Virtual Christmas Party!
This virtual event is taking place on December 16th 2008.
For more information on this event, please visit the http://pleasepickupyoursocks.wordpress.com blog.
We hope to see you there!
A & J