I’ve had the strangest day. Or week. Or month. Or something.
Not strange in an odd of way, but strange in a confusing way.
It’s like I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. Maybe it’s the uncertainty of my life right now that’s doing it. The instability that makes me want to go home and hide in the comfort of my chaise, behind the warm glare of my Macbook Pro.
All day, I think of being at home and finishing my projects. Then I get home and procrastinate — not watching TV, or movies, or reading, or cleaning, but literally sitting around — because all I think about is talking to John.
It’s only after I’m off the phone with him that I feel like I can begin my evening and be productive. I can talk without thinking, without worrying that he may judge me, without feeling like I’m being patronized, without caring whether I’m repeating myself, without fear of offending him, without even having to make sense. Like a small session of therapy, where I need to figure things out for myself, but which can only be done after I’ve put it all out there to someone else. It helps me more than I can understand or explain. Unfortunately, he generally remains unavailable until later in the night, and by the time we’re done, it’s already passed the time I should be in bed.
Even this was only written after he called me on his way home from initiating new pledges at his old fraternity. And it’s already an hour later than when I planned to be asleep.
And when Death From Above1 came on, all I wanted to do was dance.
- Back when Iain and I first saw them in concert opening for Billy Talent, they didn’t have the gratuitous “1979” suffix, as it was before the legal dispute. I refuse to acknowledge them as anything else. [↑]
You need some additional dependable friends. Like on the West Coast. ?.
That would be sweet. Someone in a place far from here.
ok um i read this it had nothing to do with emos in the way i think emos should be exposed
I can’t even understand that last comment…
I’ve put the imaginery punctuation in several places and still have no idea either.
(So anyway Jeff you know where to look for said friends.)
@trolley — I think I understand what she’s trying to say, insofaras the subject wasn’t what she expected from the title, although that doesn’t mean it was an intelligent, coherent, or even useful, comment.
@Xibee — Yep, one of many stops to hit along the West one day.