20 Oct 08
Sometimes, as I’m falling asleep, I think of her.
She’s lying on my stomach again, listening to my heart beat, hands tucked neatly under my body. Or she’s spooning me, her arm resting on the crook of my waist, with a finger drawing distracting circular lines on my chest.
Sometimes we’re in the tall grass, surrounded by colours of life with the warmth of the sun above us. A regression to a time when all I had to think about was the colour of popsicle I would have when I got home from camp. How unfair that our innocence is taken from us when we need it most.
And I lie there in bed, waiting for sleep to take me as the images lead me on.
My body telling me to let go, my mind struggling to keep her next to me a moment longer.
my heart swells in pain for you. love is fragile thing, just like innocence.
for your cold or flu or whatever is causing you so much congestion,we just fought this epic battle in my house, have a glass of warm cranberry juice with honey in it, it doesn’t taste entirely pleasant but it will help get you warm and and flush your system.
In the first few months, the touch of the other’s body is almost too pleasant to bear in bed or the excitement leads to further intimacy; a few years down the road, the touch of the other’s body leads to “get that thing out of my back, I’m tired!” or “You’re breathing on me, again!” or “Get off, I’m too hot.”
Enjoy the fun moments of a fresh relationship while you can …
@lauren — What is the pain that your heart feels? Is it a good pain or a bad pain? I find it interesting that this is how you interpret the words in this entry, not to say that it’s right or wrong. Just interesting.
Honey is certainly a must when it comes to sore throats, although it hasn’t been able to combat the sharpness of the pain I’ve been experiencing. I didn’t know that about cranberry juice though,
@Michael — I’ve heard that some people don’t stay in their relationships for long, because they believe that the “sparks” are supposed to last forever. Perhaps part of this spark is the pleasant physical intimacy as well.
I would love to have been able to say I sustained moments like that and watched them grow into other more golden feelings later. I have only ever known the green wonder of times like these, only to have them evaporate completely.
The relationships that lasted the longest had none of this wonder.
What on earth does that mean? and about me or us? What does that mean that I have that kind of legacy? I think about that all the time.
Perhaps the exciting relationships are like candles; those that burn more brightly also burn quicker. Or maybe the excitement is from the instability and the uncertainty. I don’t think it particularly means anything, just that we’re all human, susceptible to seduction from that which we cannot control.